Zooom_Zoomy

Made it to 22 bitches!! 
          	God I was cringe... 
          	But such is life.

Zooom_Zoomy

this message may be offensive 
This is the only place I feel comfortable to share this. Wattpad has always been there for me to vent a little. . . 
          7 years.. of a one sided love, and a two faced friendship. 
          The one thing I'll never forget, was going into the kitchen late at night with you, keeping quiet to not wake others. I carefully grabbed your waist and your hand, and we danced. Slowly, we danced, but it felt like the world melted away. All I could feel, was how tight you held on to me, the racing of your heartbeat, and how much I loved you. I'll never forget or regret that night dancing with you... or the kiss we shared soon after. 
          But what I do regret...is giving you all I was, including my heart. It never felt more perfect being with you..and yet every action, every word from you is dripped with a poison that slowly killed me.
          I regret, giving you my heart and friendship, because from your actions, I knew I would never mean the same to you. 
          I never....really meant anything to you... did I?
          
          All I did, was try to lessen how much I spoke to you, and put in the same effort you did in our conversations. I have never given up on you. But you, gave up on me. You were never there for me. I stayed up for hours hoping you would be ok, or at least for a simple message. But nothing. Don't tell me it's anxiety when all you use me for is a crutch to validate you, because I know for a fact, and you said it your-fucking-self that you talked to those people every day. 
          
          You purposely ignored me. You even tried to make me pity you, and when that didn't work I was the bad guy for calling you out.
          
          Thanks...thank you so much. Because no matter how many people I'm with, nothing, will ever feel like it did that night. Nothing, will ever be that perfect again. 
          
          You were my Juliet, but I refused to die for our love to blossom. So the story couldn't ever continue.

Zooom_Zoomy

......I have friends...I have people who's humour is worse than mine and when I make references they all get it. I have people to talk to. People enjoy my company. Teachers actually care about students and joke around. I love my new school ^-^.

Zooom_Zoomy

At night as the wind blows I watch my screen as it slowly flashes a new minute. A new hour. 
          
          The nights are now long as the broken mirror of the past comes back for the 4th year to haunt.
          
          
           The shards are still embedded into the carpet. Awaiting a new victim to sink their small sharp edges into and remind them of what I've done. 
          
          
          The Liquor I drink cannot satisfy my thirst for forgiveness. 
          
          The cuts I bleed from will never heal. Only ugly scars to be left but never forgotten. 
          
           The mask I used to wear has fused to my persona my being. 
          
          I am stuck in a spinning spiral and cannot grasp a hold of something to stop me.
          
           Help me.
          
           Save me.
          
          I am stuck. 
          
          Never to be freed from the shackles I have crafted myself.

Zooom_Zoomy

The loser's left behind~
          A mask of my disguise~
          And who I am today~
          Is worse then other times~ 
          You don't know what I've done~
          I'm wanted and on the run~
          I'm wanted and on the run~
          
          SO I'M TAKING THIS MOMENT TO LIVE IN THE FUTURE!!
          
          (Masked messenger meme)
          
          -Ryan_Rhea