I feel so tired and bitter lately, as if the world can disappear and I just want him around. Truthfully, who I want is not him, but the idea of him. I doubt he ever actually cared. Dude prolly doesnt know my favourite films, songs, artists, poets, poems, authors, literature works, theater plays, etc.
Im so hung up on the fact that he seems intelligent, specifically intelligent enough to understand me yet has no interests to do so.
So I will love his idea in my head instead; an idea of that specific guy but actually knows me enough to have intellectual connection.
I just wanted to be known.
My adhd paralysis gets so bad I might start to mistake it for depression.