Courtney Gray

I’m tired of being alone 

I’m scared that nobody will ever want me. I’m terrified to put myself out there again and not be good enough I’m terrified because of you.

My birthday is coming up.. I’m sure everyone forgot about it but I don’t really talk about it so whatever. But all I want for my birthday is to fall in love. It doesn’t have to be with another person I’d just be happy to love myself. I’m almost 18 and I’ve never been in love. I’ve never been actually cared about even I don’t care about me. 

Did you want me to be wanting to talk to you ?

God I feel a flutter in my chest when I see your smile you make all the others before you seem like they weren’t even real

Im glad it’s all over because I couldn’t miss you even if I tried im happy now with a cool person who loves all time low as much as I do who is just chill I have friends now who know so much about me and don’t judge and make it all about them like you did . I wish I could take more drugs and forget you existed but it’s not legal yet stop talking bout me stop looking at my things and move the hell on 

I mean she broke my whole ass heart so idk why she was so upset... she’s the one who lied. She’s the one who made things awkward and started fights that I got tired of fighting.  When I left her alone she got angry when I was too clingy she got angry I couldn’t have won because nothing is ever good enough for a terrible person 

I honestly wish I never met her
          I wish I never cared for her
          I wish I didn’t have to lie to myself 
          But i sometimes miss her
          I sometimes wish she was dead 
          And I sometimes think I loved her when I know it 
          Was I lie because I could never love someone that 
          Pulled me down and wouldn’t let me fly 
          Plus I hate her drop dead bb 

I’m so proud of panic! For doing what’s right.

@ me next time babe