_E_VK_
I miss the darkest period of my life. Is that strange? I know I suffered so much at the time, but I still miss the quiet I had. I miss not being able to feel anything. I miss staying home all day without interacting with people. I miss reading Wattpad all day. I miss talking to Angel (btch, just come back already). I miss the time when I would talk about everything and nothing with Angel. I miss being able to talk to people online about my feelings. I miss feeling worth something because I could help someone with their emotions. I miss the internet friends I had who disappeared. I miss the time when I would read fanfics constantly. I miss the time when the only thing that mattered was when the next Wattpad chapter would come out. I miss the time when everyone saw how bad I felt, but didn’t know how to approach me. I miss the time when I pushed away everyone who tried to reach out—no matter how hard they tried. I miss the time when I felt nothing. I miss feeling like just a living body. I miss the time when I could say I felt bad. I miss the time when I felt alone and was alone. I miss the time when I was lonely. I miss the time when I was always in my own world and let no one in. I miss the time when music was always in my ears so I wouldn’t hear anyone. I miss the time when people tried to fix me. I miss the feeling of helping someone with their emotions.
_E_VK_
@ _E_VK_ I miss the feeling of deep conversations with strangers online. I miss the feeling of making people feel valued. I miss the time when I had someone to help. I miss the time when my parents didn’t care whether I went to school or not. I miss the time when I went to my therapist. I miss the time when I would wander around my old school alone during class, buying slushies from the cafeteria. I miss the small smile the cafeteria guy would give me every time I bought one—a smile like he understood me. I miss having someone I could talk to about my feelings without feeling weird.* I miss the worst time of my life, and I don’t know what to do
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