Hi Love.
Your writing doesn't make sense. Yes I did read that you prefer to write it that way and that English is not your first language.
However, you will need to decide who you writing for and why you are writing.
Your audience will either motivate you to reach for the sky or they will stop reading at chapter 5 as they construction of your story is making it difficult to follow and understand who is saying what to whom and the way events happen out of the blue just make the reader give up.
The little bit I read it is clear your story line has a great potential to bind the reader till the end. However I have to admit I gave up as the way you telling your story doesn't make sense.
Write in your home language. I bet your hone language is beautiful and will pull people who understand it. It is very seldom that writers has the opportunity to write their stories in their home language. You have the perfect platform for that.
For a 16 year old you have great potential. Keep it up. Tweek the way you construct your story and the world will be your oyster.
Good luck and keep on practicing.
