@_Marou_
Deleted the oneshot and the blackened wings...
No matter how much I tried, I was just tired of the book, it's like a nagging pressure.
But the idea is there, and my "style" of writing has changed, somewhat.
And for the oneshot, I wanted to start over, might write a oneshot before releasing any new book.
....Do I write or do I learn swing in java....
Decisions decisions decisions
I really wanna get back into writing, but I keep waiting for a perfect time, well tomorrow is a perfect time... Meh, I'll write and code same day
Hello fellows, I have been hella inactive because my phone is fucked, currently using my second tablet because the first one got fucked up—these were the tablets given to me by the school back in covid lol
Anyhow, I'm back, it's December. And despite it being already the start of my second semester, hopefully I'll have enough time to write some more and actually post the revised chapters.
Also also, the notification is fucked up, I get put back in the home menu when I click the story notifications, BUT also, THE OFFLINE BOOK CAPACITY CAME BACK! It's no longer just two, THANK THE GODS!
How fun, got two bits acting as "artists" leave comments on my book.
-M
@_Marou_ Precisely. Also it pushed a lot of people to make Instagram/Discord accounts so that they could talk, and this is already super super bad. But bots will be the future around here. As well as fascism, lol! ☠️☠️☠️
@ebonybirdcage it was a bad but also good move for me, 50/50 since a lot of weird stuff happens at DMS, but that's also how I got to meet some friends here
@_Marou_ I am glad I was useful. Wattpad has a LOT of limitations, but this emoji ban is just insane, as it is one of the social media per se. Also the removal of DMs - a super stupid move. ☹️
Following my crash out, I've decided to get rid of the haikyuu book, because of circumstances.
-M
Who the fuck was the smart ass that decided to notify me everytime a comment of mine gets liked?
I get the reply, BUT THE LIKES?!? ITS FUCKING UNECESSARY
Sitting here mulling over thoughts that drowns me every time I try to seek clarity, clouding my vision, muffling the noise, giving me chaos.
'Why am I always like this...' I ask myself, looking at the phone on the table, the screen being taken up by my texts without a reply.
'One good interaction is enough to make me attached... How many times have I said to myself I won't..." I thought to myself, looking over the window pelted with small raindrops, each hit sounding like the cracks of my fragile heart.
I hang my head, breathing in and out, as if I'm short of breath, before my breathing stilled.
Exhale.
'Fuck.' I said, as I slowly deleted all the history of our messages, messages I thought were more.
'Stupid.'
-M
“Haaaa....”
The crunching of snow alerted me of her.
“Hey, what's up?” She asked, now standing by my side and leaning back against the railing of the balcony, her eyes directed at mine, I don't turn to look.
Instead, I look down, my shoulders sagging as I sigh yet again. “Nothing... Well, I mean-”
She cuts me off, “If you're having a hard time explaining it, then it's simply not 'nothing', right? Tell me, c'mon.” Unnoticed, she used her right hand to slowly turn my head to look at her.
“It's just... I'm suddenly reminded about how much I wanna do... Want to accomplish, but...”
“But you just can't do them all in one sitting, righ?” She smiled, knowing the thing that's plaguing me.
“You just really know me, huh, Raven?”
I sigh, “Fine, yes. That's the thing that's been plaguing me... You know I like to write, I like photography, I've also been learning how to draw, and of course, this college course I'm in... Oh and don't forget, my desire to learn to play the guitar..”
She smirked, “You’re not gonna include handwriting?”
“Fine...”
She stands up straight, turning to me. “Do you know what's a fig tree?”
“Yes...?”
“Imagine you're hungry and you need to pick a fruit to survive, but there's so many that you can't choose which one to take... Will you take one and eat it so you don't starve, or will you try to get all of them and fail?”
Silence... That was the thing that enveloped us, but... It was serene... Beautiful, the background has long faded and there's only me and her.
“I... I guess pick one, eat it, and then slowly pick the others... Right?” I fully turn to her, a small smile etched on my face.
“Is that the conclusion you've reache?”
Smiling, I answer, “Yeah...”
“And do you have an answer to your problem earlier?”
“Mhm...”
I lean forward, my forehead against hers, my shoulders feeling lighter.
“Thank you...”
"Does it hurt?" Asks the man, a friend I've known since I started frequenting at his bar.
"Does what hurt?" I ask as I swish my glass around, ice clinking.
"To see her be with another man..." Direct, the very thing I liked about the man whose name I still don't know.
"It... It does," I reply, pausing briefly as I look through the window, as if I can see her, see them. "But she's only shown me kindness when I've been treated so badly, not love."
"And yet, you fell for her."
"Indeed, I fell," I smile, the memories replaying as we talk, "I fell in love with the woman who's changed my life so much, yet I've only brought nothing, but burden to her in return."
A sigh broke out of the man, "You know that's not true."
I shake my head before chuckling, "Perhaps... Even so, I would've liked to repay her kindness with more."
"But?"
I stare at my drink, the smile I had dropped, before appearing once more, "But she received love from someone else, and the only thing I can do is... Let go."
The man smiled, "You've grown."
"I did, haven't I?"
I just find that sadder scenes makes my brain want to do more about the environment and involve it to my writing
"Mom?" The child looked up at her while he brushes her hair.
"Hm?"
He lifted her hair, examining it, "Why did you grow out your hair?"
She smiled, she picked up a strand of her hair and played with it. Looking back at her son, she spoke, "Hair holds memories. And since you came, it's been nothing, but good ones," She reached down, brushing her thumb across the child's cheek.
The child couldn't help but smile, "Then as long as I'm here, you'll grow your hair out more!"
Her lips quivered, touching her hair as long or longer than she is tall... She stayed seated near a grave, that of her child.
"Hair does hold memories... Good or bad...
I miss you."