Yo Bro Lo

i get ridiculously excited whenever i see someone named skye bc i start to think it’s “my” skye, but it’s not then i get dragged down memories lane and have to remember they’ve been gone for months

i have therapists appointment today, but they arent accepting people in the building so he said he would face time his clients today which means im gonna face time my therapist. i came out to him and he calls me logan! :) hes been giving me medicine for anxiety, which has helped with anxiety attacks and such. when they do come theyre pretty bad but i think thats bc i went a whole week and half without one and this one was more emotional. but still! im getting better and im proud of meh

idk im just tired and stressed and whatnot so here ya go: 
          
          
          strum pattern mostly: 1 2 + + 4 +
          C E7 Am F
          
          I don’t know if I can make this better
          I don’t know if I can make this right
          I don’t know if I can change the weather
          But it’s pounding on the roof tonight
          
          Everybody’s falling from the rainbows
          World’s crashing around my eyes
          I don’t have the time to go back
          And change our world to right
          
          I’m sorry
          For the pain, the rain I caused you
          
          I’m sorry
          I can’t stay another day
          
          I—-‘m losing time
          
          I can see the festering
          The world is coming down
          Now, time is of an essence 
          I just can’t seem to control 
          
          Anything
          Anything
          Anything
          
          I don’t know if I can change the weather
          But maybe this rhyme will make it right
          Maybe I can change the way you see me
          
          Maybe I can change myself
          Maybe I change my mind
          Maybe I change the way I see me
          
          I don’t like being left behind
          But I’m losing all my time
          I don’t like being left behind
          But I’m losing all my time
          
          I don’t know if I can change the weather
          But maybe I can change it with a rhyme
          Maybe I can change my story with this song tonight
          
          I don’t know if I can change the weather
          But maybe I can change it next time
          Maybe I could make myself up better
          But I just need to rely
          
          On me
          My mind 
          My crimes
          My time
          
          I know this is hard, I can’t stay gone
          Just leave me behind to save my brain
          That’s had a hole in it for far too long
          
          It’s fine
          
          I don’t know if I can change the weather
          But I think about it all the time
          Maybe I can be a little better
          If everything was fine
          
          Medecation isn’t working right
          Therapist isn’t working right
          My mind just ain’t working fine
          Maybe everything will be fine
          
          Take a breath
          Just count to four
          Hold it in
          A little more
          
          Count to seven
          It’ll be heaven
          Now count to eight
          It’s not too late
          
          ~~~
          
          idk i was just feelin feels

im feeling better, i went and played my guitar

its like u did the same thing everyone else does
          
          u saw i was happy and just tore it down
          
          and maybe i thiught u were going to be the last person to do that
          
          and maybe im just really stupid

im not even over skye

i shouldnt be bothered by this, nyx pls

im feeling worse now idek why this is upsetting me so much idek idek idek

its just.. u have pen right? and im assuming the situation is that ur upset that, “ive gotten over u”, so im going to assume ur not over me.. but u have pen too.
          
          and i just dont understand that
          
          vigi has made me really.. happy over these last weeks (months honestly) and.. ive always liked them
          
          its just hypocritical
          
          u have pen and ur not over me
          
          i have vigi, but that doesnt mean im over u
          
          im just trying to get over u
          
          look, u can make me feel like a bad guy, and thats fine ig. u can make the same ppl who say they love me tell me to fuck off, and thats fine too. but.. dont expect me to be sorry
          
          bc im not
          
          yesterday was one of the best days ive had in the longest time, i was with vigi and his friends and honestly i was just happy
          
          the whole point is to get over each other and be happy and get the life we wanted
          
          fuck dude, thats what u said, u told me to get help and have a good life
          
          i appreciated u when u said that
          
          but i just cant appreciate u when u say something completely opposite
          
          it was hard but ur making it easy now
          
          
          bye

idek why im fucking surprised. everything was fine everything was going well, i was so happy, happier than i had been in months. they TOLD me to get better and have a good life and i just assumed that meant, 1, not snooping in my fucking business and leaving me alone to get better and two, being happy when i was feeling better but ig not!!
          
          im just so mad bc someone had to go and tell me what they said but its whatever ig. bc theyre the only ones that suffered and theyre the only ones that hurt. and now every person whos my friend says theyll kill me, but hey! 
          
          i was almost fucking happy
          
          i was almost there