_Schweetzie_
this message may be offensive
Hey I know I don’t have a lot of followers but I’m struggling and I’m very conflicted and I need peoples help and honest opinions, this does have shit to do with family
My mother likes to come into my room at night severely intoxicated just about every night, I don’t like dealing with her in that manner, she then babbles about how she loves me and special I am, there’s something about her saying it to me under the influence that just hurts and angers me, so I ask her to leave, kindly mind you. She gets all hurt and slurs words of shit like “okay if you want me to leave I will” “*angry* wow” “why are you mad” “it’s my fault” “it’s because you hate me” and these sound normal and kind but they’re very back handed, plus she stumbles out my room barley able to walk and is all upset with me leaving me to cry in my room wondering why I’m so horrible and leaving me to cry in my room alone.
So the questions are
1.is it my fault?
2. Is my mom an alcoholic? I just need others agreement so I know I’m not crazy
3. Why does this shit hurt so much?
Bnhawofwc
this message may be
offensive
(Congrats on 69 followers, nice)
Bro, if you are feeling like shit when she does this, this isn’t your fault
This sounds like gaslighting to me. Gaslighting is basically manipulation, where the abuser is making the victim think that the abuser is only doing what’s best, while the victim is at fault. It’s especially common with parent-children relationships, because of the power dynamic, though probably in lovers too.
She is saying that she loves you, but actions speak louder than words. I personally believe that she is purposely (or maybe accidentally) trying to make you feel like shit.
If her saying she loves you hurts and angers you, that is not okay. If you ask her to leave, and she gets overly upset and then tries to paint herself as a victim/innocent in this situation, then makes you feel guilty enough to cry about it, then that’s some form of abuse. Maybe gaslighting, (I’m like 98% sure it’s gaslighting) but it could be something else.
Parents do tell you these things, but they show you these things more than they tell you. She is trying to make you feel guilty by painting herself as the offended, and you as the offender.
1. No, absolutely not. Nothing you are doing is wrong, disrespectful, or remotely instigating such behavior in a grown woman.
2. Possibly, it sounds like she may be a little drunk, especially her stumbling out of your room.
3. Because this is wrong, and you need to find help. You can look into gaslighting more, but if you have ever watched the movie “Tangled” that is basically gaslighting. Mother Gothel makes Rapunzel feel bad, and painting herself as innocent and loving.
Hope you can find help out of this, because this needs to stop as soon as possible.
qwderfnoob
@_Schweetzie_ 1. No 2. Most likely if it happens this often 3. It hurts because you know that 1. The love you isn't genuine, she isn't in her right mind and 2. It's your mother and you care about her, your feelings are hurt by the things she says and the fact she is under the influence Idk if I helped-
