_Tamu_Senpai_

Hi everyone, I’m sorry I haven’t been active. I’ve been going through a lot of emotional roller coasters lately and my mental health has not been improving. I don’t know if or when I’ll be active again and I’m sorry for that.. I want to say some things though, thank you for being an amazing community and I had little to no bad experiences on Wattpad which is a blessing. I’ve been struggling with social life and my gender identity a lot and just how to handle/control feelings. I’ve lost my hope honestly and I don’t have any motivations what so ever. I want to confess that I’ve cried every single day for as long as I can remember, but now I just can’t function those emotions. I haven’t been active on any social platforms recently because I’m not even sure what makes me happy anymore. I’ve let go of countless people that I shouldn’t have and I am a horrible person, friend, and or lover for those reasons. I’ve been thinking about killing myself, like I had in the past. I tried to get away from that kind of thing because I love myself for who I am and I’ve been my biggest support and best friend . The thing is I just don’t know anymore - what’s the point in living if I can’t be happy? I’m trying rehab with myself as my coach since I tried school counseling and it made my problems worse. Im sorry for ranting, have an amazing day and if someone ask if your okay, it’s okay to be honest <3

_Tamu_Senpai_

I also want to add a reference for how people in general are when they walk into my life (try your best to picture it lol). It’s like I’m in a dark room, no light, just a dark room with door scattered everywhere. One opens - it’s a person walking. They come to me and we both talk for a while. They tell me “hey, there’s this door I want to walk through, wanna come with me?” I accept the offer because I don’t want to be alone. At first we are walking in sync and everything is going smoothly until they start falling behind. I reach for them telling them “I’ll slow down if you need me too” I say as they happily accept. They start walking at a fast pace that I can’t even get close too, and another door opens. Something or someone ask them if they can walk with them. Forgetting me, they walk away further and further. I almost reach their hand but I miss. I watch in despair as they walk to where I can no longer see. There I am, left all alone again in the dark room.
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_Tamu_Senpai_

Hi everyone, I’m sorry I haven’t been active. I’ve been going through a lot of emotional roller coasters lately and my mental health has not been improving. I don’t know if or when I’ll be active again and I’m sorry for that.. I want to say some things though, thank you for being an amazing community and I had little to no bad experiences on Wattpad which is a blessing. I’ve been struggling with social life and my gender identity a lot and just how to handle/control feelings. I’ve lost my hope honestly and I don’t have any motivations what so ever. I want to confess that I’ve cried every single day for as long as I can remember, but now I just can’t function those emotions. I haven’t been active on any social platforms recently because I’m not even sure what makes me happy anymore. I’ve let go of countless people that I shouldn’t have and I am a horrible person, friend, and or lover for those reasons. I’ve been thinking about killing myself, like I had in the past. I tried to get away from that kind of thing because I love myself for who I am and I’ve been my biggest support and best friend . The thing is I just don’t know anymore - what’s the point in living if I can’t be happy? I’m trying rehab with myself as my coach since I tried school counseling and it made my problems worse. Im sorry for ranting, have an amazing day and if someone ask if your okay, it’s okay to be honest <3

_Tamu_Senpai_

I also want to add a reference for how people in general are when they walk into my life (try your best to picture it lol). It’s like I’m in a dark room, no light, just a dark room with door scattered everywhere. One opens - it’s a person walking. They come to me and we both talk for a while. They tell me “hey, there’s this door I want to walk through, wanna come with me?” I accept the offer because I don’t want to be alone. At first we are walking in sync and everything is going smoothly until they start falling behind. I reach for them telling them “I’ll slow down if you need me too” I say as they happily accept. They start walking at a fast pace that I can’t even get close too, and another door opens. Something or someone ask them if they can walk with them. Forgetting me, they walk away further and further. I almost reach their hand but I miss. I watch in despair as they walk to where I can no longer see. There I am, left all alone again in the dark room.
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_Tamu_Senpai_

“I helped him pick out a present for this new guy he’s seeing. When I saw how exited he was to get his initials engraved on it and give it to somebody else.. (both of them start crying) why are you crying?” WHY AM I CRYING?!!?

_Tamu_Senpai_

aaaa
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