Writing this here since this is the only platform where no one who knows me personally are here . I just want to vent out my feelings without being judged . So last month I broke up with my boyfriend/bestfriend of 9 years almost . He was my best friend much before than that . He was the one who initiated our breakup and me being me did not stop him not because of my ego or anything but I'm a person who would let the person go if they want how can I stop someone who is willing to leave ? So yeah we broke up after 9 years now the worst part wasn't that , the worst part was I did not had anyone to vent out what I was feeling since we had the same friend circle and I guess they were friend with me just because of him after everything that happened between us I did not have the support that I wanted , I did not had the shoulder I could lean on , I did not cry infront of anyone and this particular thing is taking a toll on me and my mind. I'm normal infront of everyone but as soon as I'm alone everything comes right back at me and makes me feel like it happened yesterday .