It has been 2years n 9monts since I stopped listening shinees songs
When I heard that Jonghyun died I didn't cry or scream. My mind was blank. I didn't want to think about it. When someone mentioned Shinee, I ignored it.
That moment when I found out that he had committed suicide I couldn't listen any of their music. Neither their MVs or funny moments because I was regretting myself that I hadn't learnt their names. I wasn't that fan who found them after Jonghyun's death. I had known them much earlier.
I loved their music so much. I could sing their songs by heart but I have never been interested in their lives. I mean I wasn't that fan who knew everything about them like their personalities, other hobbies etc..
But toady I watched videos from Jonghyun's funeral where the members were talking about him.
When they were on a concert instead of 4 microphones were 5 and on the each mic was a red rose.
I was crying like a little baby. I don't want to cry because of his death. I want to be happy because now he is on the better place.
I'm just crying because I didn't give him as much love as he deserved.
I'm so sorry Jonghyun that I wasnt here before.