“And how do you know that you're mad?"
 "To begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. You grant that?"
"I suppose so, said Alice.
 "Well then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags it's tale when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.”
~Cheshire Cat, Alice and Wonderland. Through the looking glass

I live in South Shields... get over it