@_darkwhisphersss Hey darkwhisphersss!!
I like the starting of your story and it's plot as it's interesting. On the other hand there are so many little mistakes that from a writer and for reader not good. It makes readers confuse, sometimes reader lose interest and you lose your reputation and followers.
I read 5 pages and in just 5 pages, there are also some spelling errors that I found in your story. You have talent of writing amazing stories but to make it more appealing and easily understandable I can help you with editing and making it with 0 errors as an English language expert.
As you're a busy college student and don't have time to do this. If you not do this people will not read your stories because it left them confused and didn't make the flow they get by an expert writer. But imagine increasing your readers, followers and fame and with my editing expertise you'll get all these.