elliee

Hello everyone! If you are even reading this. This is a big announcement and it is important to me, so I will be explaining my point of view and my opinion, you may not like it but I can’t do anything about that.
          
          So, long story short. I’m going to be inactive forever, basically, unless I want to come back. I’m  deleting the app. Not my account. But, I will no longer be writing or interacting on here. I am very sorry.
          
          I have decided this because ever since I finally logged back in early January/February I believe, I just haven’t had the motivation to write. I just can’t be bothered and I think it’s something that just doesn’t interest me anymore. So yeah, that’s basically it. I told myself I need to write at some point but I never did cause I never felt like it. 
          
          Thankyou for everyone who put up with my autistic ass and Thankyou all so very much for reading my forsaken shit from 2025 ;-;.
          
          Much love!! <3

IM IN WALESSSSSSSSS MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

I just had my first fucking kiss today what.how.hello.? like omg

tried dying my hair back to blonde…why’d it go brunette huh ‍↕️☹️

What's poppin dude

I don’t know how I used to stay up till 3, or even pull all nighters because I’m exhausted by 10pm now what is this game..
          
          im aging too fast….

I fainted twice today :3

Vent? Tw:eating
          
          sorry to vent again, nobody actually really sees it anyway so that’s good.
          but, on a scale of one to ten, my mental health is at a good 7/10. Which im proud about, I’ve been feeling pretty good, sometimes I have my lows but we all have bad days. But, these past couple of weeks have been hard, everytime I try to eat I feel disgusted with myself, im not struggling with food in the way you might think, I don’t have anorexia or anything like that. I used to binge eat really bad but I stopped my habits gradually. But now, I just can’t seem to stop these thoughts flooding my mind everytime I eat, I just feel so gross with myself, and im eating too much. It makes me feel sick physically so I can’t actually eat anymore of my meal, but I don’t starve myself. I apologise for this being confusing, but, im struggling really bad right now with food.

vent-tw: sa.
          
          January 1st 2025.
          I was not long 12. (Yes I’m basically leaking my age.)
          I was so excited to go round my childhood best friends house, she’d been friends with me forever, long lost twin sisters we liked to call it. I hadn’t been for a sleepover in 2 years with her so I was really looking forward to it.
          Normal, both of us messing around like the idiots we are.
          Wanna pull an all nighter?
          You know what. Sure.
          1am hits and the whole night we were joking about all sorts of stuff, school, freaky stuff, cause, that’s the norm for us, we were comfortable like that.
          But. She started cuddling me, okay, cute, just a friendly thing sure..maybe she’s just sleepy.
          So i let it happen like the fool I am. 
          But she hates physical touch, so why would she even be doing this?
          Why didn’t I ask myself that.
          it only escalated horribly.
          I put up with it all the way until 3am, Personally, I feel stupid, it doesn’t seem that long. But it felt like forever.
          The words died in my throat as I begged her to stop. Then she went to sleep like nothing ever happened.
          Next morning was horrible, I just wanted to go home.
          Time skip to may 2025. I finally told my shitty parents. I had to confront her. It was the hardest thing in the world because I still love her, I can’t leave her, even if I tried, we’ve been friends since 2. But it still haunts me so bad.
          It made my mental health so much worse my mom threatened to take me to a mental hospital.
          
          I feel stupid, sorry for the vent. Goodnight.

my dearest sweetheart,
          When i die, remember me in the sunset 
          Or the snow.
          Remember me in the music that i listened to when i was low.
          Visit my grave every July,
          And place those white roses i love on the dirt,
          Because i know you love them too.
          They are so innocent, so sweet, they remind me of you.
          But it’s okay, for i quite like this tomb, 
          It’s much better than back out there.