_healingmyself_

I took off my safety pin necklace about two weeks ago...more by accident than intentionally. But...after a slip-up shortly afterward...I didn't feel it was right to put it back on.
          So I haven't worn them since, unsure if I can keep that promise to myself...or want to keep it.
          And the absurd thing is: nobody around me knows what this necklace stood for. Nobody knows how significant it was that I wore it for so long and that I don't anymore. 
          And I don't know whether I should find it scary or good that nobody has any idea. 
          Most people don't even know...that my last relapse wasn't as long ago as they think. 

How does my mother always manage to seize the weakest moment to sink her claws into me again? Two months of blissful silence, and the moment self-doubt arises, my phone rings. As if she had an alarm for the moments when she could still harm me.
           God, I hate it. 
          I hate that her abuse is always hidden behind a smile and kind words. 
          That my friends always perceive her as so kind and caring. 
          That I'm always the crazy one when I'm struggling with the deep scars of trauma that always took place behind closed doors.
          
           Did it really happen if only I was there to witness it? 
          Or does trauma need more witnesses than just the victim to be considered valid? 

Hi, I apologize if this is a triggering topic, but could you do a story without graphic details but of either Emily or Cordelia helping after a SA? Also I wanted to say that your writing has been incredibly therapeutic and healing and I wanted to say thank you  also, I too am chronically ill and have experienced a lot of the things the characters have, so if you ever wanted to like direct message on here or anything, I’m here :)

I'm back! Finally! I'm so sorry I disappeared. I got kicked out of my account and then my phone crashed. But hey, I have a new phone and I'm still alive! Unfortunately, my Jemily story disappeared in the process. I'm working hard to get it back and upload it again, I promise. Until then, I'll be writing one-shots again, if you still want them ;) 
          
          I missed you all and I'm so sorry! 

Hi when will there be an update for the jemily x y/n book? love it!

Hey I have a request for the mental health one shots. Autistic female reader and Meredith or Amelia or even Wanda

is that Emily as ur bg??

I spoke very openly about my ED relapse in a post yesterday. To make it clear to people that we don't have to be ashamed of something like that. 
          And that it's okay to talk about it, even if it's scary. And that relapses are unfortunately part of life and are not a disgrace.
          It took me an incredible amount of courage to write this.
           Today a friend called me and told me that I was crying out for attention and help and now I've shifted all the blame onto others and that it's not okay.
           I feel terrible. 
          I didn't want to blame anyone or worry them.
           I wanted to show others that no one is alone with this... I feel like I've done everything wrong again. 
          
          But hey, good motivation to keep writing 
          (sorry, I wanted to talk to someone about it and you are my safe space.) Please don't feel pressured  reply. Lots of Love xxx 

Hi! I love all of your stories, I was wondering if you could do more Olivia Benson one-shots. Thanks!!
           

I followed you can you please follow me back?