@_imagayfroglol
ok guys! this will probably be my last message for a while!! i love u all sosososososososossosososososososososososoo much!!! im gonna miss u all veryveryveryveryvery much!! be safe, take care of yourself, drink water, eat food, listen to the wii theme song, and ill be back as soon as i can!!! <3333333333333333333333333
Heyyyyyy
Hiii
I'm so sorry
I haven't been active on here..
@mentally_unstable666 heyyyy babbyyyy!!! are u doing ok?? how have things been?? i love youuuu!!! <33333333
goodnight!! (im not actually gonna sleep, im js gonna lay down and try to ignore the crippling thoughts of inadequacy while trying to distract myself w/ a funky frog bait video) love u guys!! <333
why the fuck am i the one being yelled at? shes the one who fucking hit me, she pushedd me with all of her strenght directly in my chest then tried to hit me but whrn i push her a little it to get her off of me, im the one in the wrong. why the fuck are you yelling at me. this isnt fair. im always the one getting yelled at. i raise my voice slightly at her, i get yelled at. i toss something at her and it hits her, i get yelled at. i do the exact same fucking thing you do all the fucking time to her, i get yelled. i get grounded and punished and yelled at. its not fucking fair. just fucking say you hate me and that shes your favorite. you say shit to me all the time, you have said directly that you dont like me. at this point, just fucking kick me out. you dont wanna deal with me anymore, im clearly your least favorite, you fucking hate me. you dont fucking care. you found out ive cut myslef multiple fucking times and what did you do? absolutely fucking nothing. i do something slightly out of line and suddenly your screaming at me, calling me a bitch or saying im an asshole. but if i even slightly raise my voice at you, im a terrible person. none of this is fucking fair. if i leave the situation to go to my room so i dont lose my fucking shit and get yelled at more, your going to fucking scream at me and tell me im a bitch for trying to leave. and god forbid i lock my door before i need a minute to calm down without you barging into my room to yell at me more. and if i even tell you to get out of my room because im trying to take a minute, your going to threten to take my door off the hinges and say im luvky i even have a door at all and that privacy is a privilage while you have a fucking code lock on your door.
@_imagayfroglol Eli, I hope u manage to read this. U just described a mother, but it doesnt mean its fine. Have u talked with ur dad about this? He may be able to help u. About the cuts, i think she should have done somehing. Maybe she thinks its a fasion or something like that, even though i think thats been existing since always. She thinks self harm is a tendence. I mean there are kids who really do it to seek attention, like for real, but i know u arent that type of person
what the fuck do you mean 'ill be waiting for your apology whenever your ready, for unnecasarily yelling at me' i didnt even fucking yell. you stood there screaming at me for a solid 10 minutes but yea, i was the one yelling at you. im not fucking apologizing to you. i didnt fucking do anything. i didnt even fucking say anything to you. why dont you fucking apologize to me. you were the one who screamed in my face and called me a bitch and a terrible sister. but no, you have never done anything wrong. youre just the most perfect mother ever. but im the moody irritable bitch. just the disappointment of a child you never wanted. its always my fault because im just the moody teenage girl who cant control her emotions. but when you, an almost 40 year old woman, yells at me over nothing, its perfectly fine because you work all the time so youre stressed. but when i come home from school, moody and exauhsted because im being fucking bullied and i have literally no friends, it my fault and im supposed to be able to control my emotions because im thirteen and im a mature kid. but when you, a fucking adult woman, cant control your goddamn emotions, its fucking fine. youre such a hypocrite.
ok so i js remebered this. so basically, like 2 weeks ago i got sent to the counselers office at school and the reason was bc of the emails i had sent to 1 of my friends. it was me saying stuff like 'its rlly hard to belive u actually like me' and wtv bc ive had rlly shitty friendships in the past. so they called me down to the counselers office and we had a talk and wtv, it was rlly stupid. but the thing is, y was i caled down for that? i ahve absolutely sent my other friends shit abt me killing myself. like i sent my ex freidn a meesage that was like 'hey i js wanted to say i love u bc i dont know if im gonna make it thru the night so this might be my last conversation w/ u' and for some reason that wasnt flagged? but me saying that it was hard for me to trust that ppl actually liked me was? like the tech department at our school flagged my mesages and said like 'check on this student' but they didnt flag the mesages abt me illing myself or telling 1 of my friends that i relapsed and was going to kill myself that night? (i did actually end up attempting after that but wtv, it was a while ago) like im glad they didnt, i didnt wanna talk to the counselr at all, sure as hell not abt me commiting suicide and cutting myself. idk i think the tech department needs to step it up on the email checking thing. like if ur gonna flag any of my messages, flga th ones abt me killing myself. actually dont, i dont wanna talk tot h conselor abt that.
guys... i js dented my bedframe... im wering a metal clawclip and i started tweking out bc, yk, gayness, and i hit my head my hed against my bedframe and now thwres a lil chip in the paint and a lil dent... (its a wooden bedframe btw)
so i js got into a small argument w/ my dad and i was sitting in my room and i heard my mom downstairs say to my dad, "she was wearing her glasses, i told you to leave her alone" bc she knows i only wear my glasses when i have a headache and whenever i hav a headache i get rlly snippy and grumpy. so yea. i js thought that was kinda funny
Chapter 2 of my bkkm book is out! there is now a complete story of chapters 1-6!
brooo i js took the stickers off my computer bc i wanna save them and our computers are being collected on wednesday and now my computer looks sooooo weirddddd!!!