_lazarein
A little unedited update on things:
Honestly, the past year has been difficult—so busy, so tired, so worn out to do what I love. What makes things worse are the voices in my head, voices from those I thought to be “friends”, questioning my sanity, telling me how stupid and neurotic I am to realize the “truth”. I know I was being lied to, but what sucks is I took them all in as my own truth. They’ve made me question my mind, made me question my self-worth (to the point they’ve resurrected my suicidal thoughts). They’ve made me question my skill and talent as a writer. (Do I even have the skill and talent to call myself one?)
I’m not making promises now. But this year, I hope to recover, to fight past the voices, find the the time and energy to write again. It’s only through the written word I can truly be myself, and I want to be myself again. I want to love myself to acknowledge that I deserve better than those decades of abuse.
So, thank you for your patience, and those little words of encouragement that keep me going for a while before the voices drown me again.
I hope to heal and to write again. I really do.
- rein
TAJoseph
@_lazarein You're welcome! I'm glad we connected through Wattpad. I believe in you loads, and I would love for you to conquer the negative thoughts. I'm truly praying that things improve for you. :) <3
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_lazarein
@falling-into-you Ashtyn, we don’t really talk often, but thank you so much for this. I hope your health and job are kind to you this year, and for the years that follow. And that’s definitely helpful advice (not just to me, but to Ava, too). (I’m rooting for her!) Again, thank you! ♥️
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falling-into-you
I’m so sad to hear that you’ve been going through all of this. 2023 was a rough one for me too—not in the same ways as yours, but it definitely affected my motivation and confidence with writing so I feel where you’re coming from there. I know I’m not up to date on your books, but I enjoy seeing your updates on here and Goodreads and would miss you if you weren’t around! There will never be a book that pleases anyone, but at the end of the day the most important person you can write for is yourself. I hope you’re able to write for your own happiness this year and not anyone else’s. Please know that you are so talented and I’m around on here and Instagram and Goodreads if you ever want to talk ❤️
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