I know it won't help even one bit but I'll try comforting you a little bit about what's saying in your location
It's not your fault S0ul.
You're stressed, everything has been falling apart lately and no one controls an addiction
But You've got very far. One month is still definely impressive. Idk how long you've been clean before but it's probably a long time I assume
You've been improving. Things got worse so suddenly and it's a not your fault
Try thinking about how far you got and not about what happened.
Damn this is so cliche and It's not helping at all.
Sorry. This didn't help.