miles.

Heyyy gurl

1:40 am - 
          also missing wonho hours has officially began because i was listening to rv-psycho lo-fi ver. and randomly thought of him and started sobbing so that's nice :')) i miss him so much it hurts i hope he's eating well!

so i just got my account back that was weird....
          my password stopped working and it wouldn't let me change it but now i'm back and not that better but still :)

do you ever feel so empty that you go from sleeping 3-5 hours a night to sleeping for 20 hours and only waking during 1-5 am cause same 
          i haven't used my phone since early march i wonder how many people think i'm dead aha 
          i hope i'm not the only one aha

: 
          >:( why can't I publish anything, is Wattpad plotting against me or smth, I'm devastated 
          I'm literally surviving on the last bits of data I have left, my internet is terrible let's pray I can make it out of this alive ✌

wattpad's acting up eye- also:
          why is it when i look at certain people (lmao i say that as if i see anyone in real life, it's just idols) or sometimes when someone compliments me or sends a cute message, it's like hard to breathe, anyone else get that? or am i just dying aha...?? but seriously it's extrememly weird, kinda painful but it's like your heart aches in a way and you forget how to talk and your voice goes high pitched and then after a few minutes you feel all weird in your chest and stomach and feel like you just ran a marathon....
          
          
          i'm concerned... is it because i drink too much coffee and sleep at 4 am? that's a secret i'll never tell xoxo- okay i'm sorry i'll leave now

is it just me or i really wanna go out for a nice calm long walk whilst listening to music and admiring life for once
          or like a nice long slow drive at night with the windows rolled out and sad songs blasting loudly heh i'm feeling inspired,,,wait a bit like this:
          -----
          it was a saturday, nothing new, nothing to do. you sighed as you just sent your final essay just before the due date. 
          you felt accomplished, it was nice. but what to do now, pondering you grab your keys and pull on your sneakers. throwing on the hoodie that was laying around on your unmade bed, you smiled. checking the time on your phone the bright screen displayed 23:09 you grinned admiring the photo of that one certain person that makes your heart flutter and your mind go to a mush as the butterflies enter your stomach you leave the house. 
          
          starting the car, you select 'i need somebody' by day6 as you pull out the driveway. getting onto the empty roads only one or two cars drive by you. you start wondering where they're going, what they're doing, who they are. you realise the scale of your existence on this earth. your mind starts exploring the depths of your thoughts.
          
          "why am i alone?!" you scream the lyrics along with the music, reaching your hand out the window, the cool breeze kissing your skin. 
          this is fun, you think to yourself as you look into the rearview mirror, seeing your eyes sparkle, you laugh, "you deserve this y/n, i love you" 
          singing along with the music you drive to nowhere as the road takes you on a journey of a lifetime. 
          -----
          what have i done?

yo y'all know that moment when you finish writing like 3 chapters worth around 3 thousand+ words and then your internet fails you so it deletes it all and then you cry for about an hour and you know that it was a fucking good 3 chapters but now it'll never be the same cause your fucking goldfish ass memory won't let you remember how you started or anything you wrote so now you're in bed at it's 17:23 but you've lost all meaning and care for time and reality and all you do is sleep and eat and you can't get out of bed because it hurts,,,
          
          
          cause same dude, same 
          this is so sad, alexa play 'i'm ok' my ikon

y'all help me 
          
          i'm proud i'm getting help but it's so exhausting who knew talking about yourself could be tiring 
          anyways uhm sorry for everything i've been writing just not active or posting because i'm trying to focus on things i enjoy and yeah
          
          anyways off topic:
          
          i feel bad now all the people i know stan top jisung and whilst i do see it, minho is my preferred top ugh i promise y'all i'll write a top jisung as soon as i'm done with my current one because 'lollipop' is something i'm working hard on and it's very personal and close to my heart so i hope you enjoy it 
          
          and remember without darkness the light cannot shine my rainbows 
          
          - miles ❤

heyy :))
          
          I'm a bit busy with the last end of term exams but I'm perfectly fine don't worry about me aha! 
          hopefully I'll be back on Wednesday if not defiantely sooner 
          
          make sure to stay hydrated and keep warm this winter, and remember I love you my rainbows! 
          
          good night/day ❤