cura te ipsum 🇮🇱🎗️

like a comet pulled from orbit
          as it passes a sun
          like a stream that meets a boulder
          halfway through the wood
          who can say if I've been changed for the better? but
          because I knew you
          I have been changed for good
          
          
          I've been meaning to write my thesis about the Wicked Years, and the fact that when I started my M.A the second part comes out (as someone who's never watched the musical but know the general story from the songs), I can't wait. My bf and I are going tomorrow (although he said after Hamilton he'll never watch another musical with me)

וְשָׁבוּ בָנִים לִגְבוּלָם.
          
          Welcome home Hadar. R.I.P

So we tried fostering a dog, and she had such a bad anxiety we had to return her because she was putting herself in danger and tried running away. After that I contacted them (three days into her being at our home) and requested to bring her back to make sure she's safe (she has good living conditions, she wasn't going back to a tiny cage, or I would never let her go back), and I wanted to make it a gradual process where I go a few times a week and get her trust before bringing her home so she'd have an easier time. She was adopted the next day. I am happy for her, but I'm afraid because I know her, I know she tried running away a few times and succeeded in another house she was in, and I know that she won't have an easy time. I want it to be her forever home on the one hand because of course she deserves it, but I also keep thinking that they might give her back any day, and then I'd have a chance to really get her to be my baby, but then- I keep thinking how selfish it is. But I've been thinking about her for two months, I've lost all hope when she was adopted- and then one sunny day she comes back. And we have five days of bliss (well, it was difficult, but she was there), and then she goes back, and I think- I still have a chance to make her happy someday. And now, not anymore. I hope not. But then again, I hope I might still have it. I truly love this dog. She's the most beautiful dog I've seen, aside from my parents' dog.

As written by Bipin Joshi's (may he rest in peace) parents:
          
          With immense pain, we received the news of the worst of all.
          
          Our dear son, Bipin — brother and soulmate to our daughter Pushpa — was murdered in Hamas captivity. The ground was pulled out from under our feet. It is hard to put into words the void left without him, a void that opened two years ago and has deepened into an immense abyss. Bipin left us full of excitement, setting out for a year of study in Israel. We never imagined that the hug we gave him then would be our last.
          Today we can say it loud and clear: Bipin, you are a hero!
          We were so afraid that they would know you were a hero, that they would harm you — we only prayed you would survive,” they write. “Before you were taken, you managed to send a message to your cousin, asking him to be strong and always look toward the future. It is hard to imagine a future without you, Bipin. Every flower in the garden we planted for you will remind us of you — every orchard, every field. You are part of the landscape of Nepal, and now also part of the landscape of the Land of Israel.
          
          I know many people hate those who support Israel. Condemn Israel and Jewish people all around the world. But remember Joshi, who risked his life to protect his friends. Who was held captive and seen alive a month after October 7th. Remember him when you say that rápe and mǔrder and burning houses and shooting party goers is fine because it's in the name of freedom. Joshi hasn't been a part of the "occupation". And if god forbid you were there- they'd hurt you too. Support the suffering of the citizens in Gaza if you'd like, but never, ever- dare to defend October 7th. Even if you hate Jewish people and Israel. Because it's bigger than that. Joshi hasn't done anything wrong. I hope he rests in peace now that his body has been returned. I hope his family get to heal. I'm sorry Joshi, you weren't returned earlier. We mourn you.

Home at last ️

I can't believe that in two days I will update my bio to say "I'm 27" 
          How effing old am I?

If there comes a day when I watch My Fallen Idol without breaking down- it's time to quit.

My niece: your mascara is smudged up
          Me: I'm not wearing any
          Her: oh. Well your lipstick is then.
          Me: I'm not wearing it either. I'm not wearing any makeup usually, today's no difference 
          Her: you're not wearing any makeup?!! That explains why your lips look a bit chapped. But just a bit
          Me: are you just looking for something wrong with my face??

Me writing something I actually enjoy and like: yes, everyone will be so happy to see this update, for sure!
          Yall: oh look here is a badly written, lacking in plot and character building, not funny, not smart, not special that the author wrote when she was 15! Let's read vote and comment on it for all eternity!!

I just got my course list to my MA, and I'm really trying to wrap my head around my thesis to start the year prepared. 
          I aint there.
          
          so... I know I said I'm back to updating, but- I am apparently not able to fulfill this promise at the moment. Hopefully, I will have some time between getting ready to the start of classes, and then will actually update