a_lee_en

It's a little wonky, but this is the best I could do with a time limit in mind. 
          	Ooo, new characters and some weird secrets...
          	
          	See yall in a few weeks.
          	
          	https://www.wattpad.com/story/247916391

a_lee_en

I'm gonna disappear for the rest of the month. Who knows when I'll be back ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯
          
          Anyway, I'll try to schedule the next few updates and see if that works... Hope everyone enjoys their festive season! All.. 14 of you.. 
          ..
          STAY SAFE YALL MWAH

ACNP000

Hi, thanks for the follow. What work of yours are you most interested in getting feedback on?

a_lee_en

@ACNP000 alrightyy, i'll be going to see my family in tge rural areas in a few days so i will have plenty time to check your book out like i promised ^^ happy holidays to you
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ACNP000

@a_lee_en those sound like good changes. I'll be on the lookout for them as I re-read
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a_lee_en

@ACNP000 sure no problem.
            So one of your critiques was that it didn't make sense how one of my characters (Gabriella) was bullying the main character (Lilith) for being a bigger girl, but she never bothered with the fact that one of Lilith's friends was a trans man. I could have simply made it out that he wasn't open about being trans and no one except his friends knew but it wouldn't make sense with the back stories of all my characters. So I changed it so that Gabriella isn't a bully to Lilith immediately but she will have some motivation later in the story. 
            Another thing you mentioned was that, before, Lilith was being followed by an entity of some sorts but she seemed unbothered by it. So I switched it up a little bit and made the appearance of this entity more... impactful? (I can't find the right way to describe it) but basically it's appearance causes her bodily harm since she's experiencing these headaches that cause her nose to bleed and vomit.
            yeah, those are the main changes that I made. I'm not sure if they mattered but it makes sense to me for now at least...
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