abasarchie

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          	https://www.wattpad.com/story/402843490

abasarchie

...
          
          COMIC: Izzy and Wuzzy.
          
          STRAIGHT: Izzy and Wuzzy. Well, how are they?
          
          COMIC: Well, last week Izzy was sick. He's all right now. But when I left this morning Wuzzy was sick.
          
          STRAIGHT: Oh, I see.
          
          COMIC: No. Wuzzy.
          
          STRAIGHT: That's what I said: I see.
          
          COMIC: No, Izzy. Izzy was sick last week.
          
          STRAIGHT: I know Izzy was sick last week.
          
          COMIC: No, Izzy.
          
          STRAIGHT: I thought you said Wuzzy was sick.
          
          COMIC: Wuzzy was.
          
          STRAIGHT: But now Wuzzy isn't, is he?
          
          COMIC: No, no, you don't understand me.
          
          STRAIGHT: You don't understand English. I said Wuzzy was sick this morning.
          
          COMIC: Right. And now Izzy isn't, is he?
          
          STRAIGHT: You're trying to tell me Izzy isn't?
          
          COMIC: Look! Izzy was sick last week. Wuzzy was sick this morning. Right?
          
          STRAIGHT: Yes. But now Wuzzy was.
          
          COMIC: Right! Both was—Oh, no! Now you've got me talking that way!
          
          STRAIGHT: What way?
          
          COMIC: What way?
          
          STRAIGHT: Oh, never mind! Never mind!
          
          (Both leave the stage very disgusted.)

abasarchie

          In respect to old comedy fiction 
          
          IZZY-WUZZY
          
          A type of live variety show called vaudeville was a very popular form of entertainment in America. Vaudeville was mainly song, dance, and humor. A skit, or short funny act, was usually included in the show.
          
          In this skit, there is a person who acts in a serious way, called the Straight, and a Comic. The Straight begins the dialogue and talks in a serious although somewhat forgetful manner. The Comic creates the laughs with his words.
          
          CHARACTERS: COMIC, STRAIGHT.
          
          OPENING: COMIC and STRAIGHT enter, meet center stage.
          
          STRAIGHT: Well, hello. Hello there—uh—uh—I'm afraid I forget your name.
          
          COMIC: No, I don't. I didn't. It's Albert.
          
          STRAIGHT: Oh, yes! Don't tell me. (Busy thinking.) It's Albert.
          
          COMIC: Huh? He doesn't know my name is Albert.
          
          STRAIGHT: Don't tell me. I remember now. It's Albert.
          
          COMIC: No. Don't tell me. (Busy thinking.)
          
          STRAIGHT: I know your name. He doesn't know I'm from Texarkana.
          
          COMIC: That's right! Little Albert from Texarkana. By the way, Albert, how's your wife?
          
          STRAIGHT: Oh, she's fine. Becky, Agnes, or Mabel?
          
          COMIC: Which one?
          
          STRAIGHT: That's right. She's fine.
          
          COMIC: Your wife?
          
          STRAIGHT: Thank you! For what?
          
          COMIC: Thank you!
          
          ---
          
          STRAIGHT: For telling me.
          
          COMIC: For telling you what?
          
          STRAIGHT: For telling me—oh, skip it! But tell me, how old are the twins?
          
          COMIC: One is six. And one is four.
          
          STRAIGHT: What are their names?

abasarchie

> Hi! I’m so glad you’re reading [ UNEXPECTED] — if you liked this chapter please leave a quick comment. Honest thoughts, favorite scenes, or a line you loved: I read every comment and they keep me writing. Thank you!