everyone hates me so don't be surprised if you feel compelled to roundhouse kick me in the face as soon as you get to know me 
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Megan is my queen who doesn't know how to spell dodgeball 

Bre is best goat negotiator 

Alex is my best bae 

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 I have a natural talent for choking on every fruit 

Please don't ask me to do basic tasks because I will fail 

True fact: I drank a few shots of whiskey at a wedding and asked for more because it was "good apple juice" so I don't doubt for a fact that I could potentially abuse my liver with alcohol in the future given the chance 

Dogs make me cry 

I am and overly sensitive person 

If I can't get a few hours by myself at home I cry because I hate being constantly around people 

Please don't make me go to restaurants they make me cry as well

Eating is also not fun and I retreat asap from the dinner table 

Please don't make me go to public events thanks

Psa if you ever want to go anywhere with me lmao