As I was sitting there, alone and in the dark, I realized how much it really hurt. I didn't know what 'it' was, not exactly. I just know it was awful. I couldn't feel any physical pain. It was all emotional. 
How do people stand this?" I wondered as I folded my body over into my lap.
A memory flashed into my mind. 
We were in a field. Tall forest green grass as far as the eyes could see, and a rainbow of flowers spread out in a random pattern. Something only God could make, no man could ever imagine something this beautiful. The only thing more beautiful than the widespread field in front of me was the beautiful woman standing next to me.
She was standing in front of me, her blonde hair was fluttering in the breeze. A large smile formed on her heart shaped face. She had a petite pink and purple bloom in her hand. 
"It's called a Johnny Boy" She said before tucking the flower behind her ear. She flopped down in the tall green grass and stared up at the clouds. 
The memory cut off.
That field was the one place we went to get away from it all. Away from her parents, away from mine.  
I still couldn't believe that I could never share that field with her again.