Hey! Just dropping by to give some commentary on your work "You Are Heartless, Erica Edwards". First of all, good title choice, it reminds me of the movie "John Tucker Must Die".
Secondly, I think you built your characters well - they have life. Take Erica for example, she's blonde; she's mean; she's, not a but, THE b*tch. Totally imaginable - a character that most who attend (or attended) high school can relate to, though not all positively.
From your diction, tone and just your writing style in general its obvious that you've been writing for a while, and you've earned quite a bit of experience. I admire the fact that you've created an interesting storyline out of a real situation. In general its a good piece of writing, and it is apparent that it is going somewhere. However, I do not understand the purpose of the chat messages at the beginning of each part, don't get me wrong they're amusing to read, but why do you have them? Can't wait to read more! *<|:)
