I want to complete a few books and make friends with people I can really relate to and care for who aren't related to me. I can't remember where in my life where it went wrong. I feel as if I've been lied to and manipulated by older men and women. I hate people and I want to get rid of this yearning for a partner. I want to live far away from these lying and fake people. I need a new life that is significantly better than this one. I may have been brought up by the wrong people and I don't think any of them cared enough to not be a negative influence on me and now their all beating down me and my interests that I wouldn't have wanted them to know about. I want to find my soul here even if I can't completely trust anyone here. "Write it down or go crazy." I have some time to talk but I don't know what to say about them when it feels like they don't meet me halfway and pass off their own downfalls while undermining me.