aclichesoul

Morning. Its 9:18 pm right now. I was stalking insta profiles of a favourite teacher and suddenly realised that I'm growing older and i hate it. Ykwim? Its not the ageing kinda hate, it's growing out of relationships kinda anticipatory grief. The thing is, I don't even have a social life. Its my parents(very cool), my younger sister(again the coolest kid), and the only relatives i am close with — maternal aunt(a slay person in general) and elder cousin sister(who is going through this wannabe dank phase i grew out of). My day went okay. It was worse yesterday because day before yesterday i lost this inter school debate competition i could flawlessly win if the judges and moderator didn't favour the hosting school and weren't intimidated be me making funny jokes. Idk man what was i supposed to do? Make facebook jokes? I rarely like anyone at school they are very annoying. But yes there is Shreeparna, a fairly good human being. We have this grey area of understanding and relatable mental instability and concern and acceptance which i appreciate. There's tina, she is two years elder than me, i hope she isn't active here help. So yes as i was saying, we both are going to give boards this year,she has deactivated her insta account, i am rarely active since they arent there. They mean the world to me. Yeah cool thats life,a few other people are rashi (not me a diff person), usha, and ministress of magic even though we seldom actually talk. So as i was saying, i have a math test in four days, syllabus is sorted i just want to score full marks i am not fond of 20 mark papers though. I like writing full length papers, the silence of examination hall is very therapeutic for me and that shifts to chaos during these dumb 30 minute papers. I haven't written in 18 days.

aclichesoul

@aclichesoul A poem that is, i have written a script for a school special assembly (it's on movies), and many debate speeches. Yeah i just. Need a 80 year break or something. I know comparing stress and mental health isn't healthy but I am only 15 and the only thing i have to care about is studies and i absolutely love studying. If it were in my hands I'd study for the rest of my life— study, be rich as in rich and kind and helpful to other people and a nice person with a little cottage in a small loving neighbourhood with a nice garden, own a million books, publish my works, consume are and let art consume me. Or maybe travel the world,learn about more people and speak in front of committees and bring change and still publish books. I don't know where im going with this? What else? I know i am genetically neurodivergent. I would like a proper diagnosis. That's there. I would also like to sleep for q87q66q days. And i would like if childhood could never be over — it's so weird the people at school don't even matter to me,you know? I can't wrap my head around the fact that one day we'll all be 35 and I'd have forgotten their faces, lost memories of voices of teachers both inspiring and ones that made me hate myself. I don't know. I don't know. It is what it is i guess. Yeah bye.
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aclichesoul

Morning. Its 9:18 pm right now. I was stalking insta profiles of a favourite teacher and suddenly realised that I'm growing older and i hate it. Ykwim? Its not the ageing kinda hate, it's growing out of relationships kinda anticipatory grief. The thing is, I don't even have a social life. Its my parents(very cool), my younger sister(again the coolest kid), and the only relatives i am close with — maternal aunt(a slay person in general) and elder cousin sister(who is going through this wannabe dank phase i grew out of). My day went okay. It was worse yesterday because day before yesterday i lost this inter school debate competition i could flawlessly win if the judges and moderator didn't favour the hosting school and weren't intimidated be me making funny jokes. Idk man what was i supposed to do? Make facebook jokes? I rarely like anyone at school they are very annoying. But yes there is Shreeparna, a fairly good human being. We have this grey area of understanding and relatable mental instability and concern and acceptance which i appreciate. There's tina, she is two years elder than me, i hope she isn't active here help. So yes as i was saying, we both are going to give boards this year,she has deactivated her insta account, i am rarely active since they arent there. They mean the world to me. Yeah cool thats life,a few other people are rashi (not me a diff person), usha, and ministress of magic even though we seldom actually talk. So as i was saying, i have a math test in four days, syllabus is sorted i just want to score full marks i am not fond of 20 mark papers though. I like writing full length papers, the silence of examination hall is very therapeutic for me and that shifts to chaos during these dumb 30 minute papers. I haven't written in 18 days.

aclichesoul

@aclichesoul A poem that is, i have written a script for a school special assembly (it's on movies), and many debate speeches. Yeah i just. Need a 80 year break or something. I know comparing stress and mental health isn't healthy but I am only 15 and the only thing i have to care about is studies and i absolutely love studying. If it were in my hands I'd study for the rest of my life— study, be rich as in rich and kind and helpful to other people and a nice person with a little cottage in a small loving neighbourhood with a nice garden, own a million books, publish my works, consume are and let art consume me. Or maybe travel the world,learn about more people and speak in front of committees and bring change and still publish books. I don't know where im going with this? What else? I know i am genetically neurodivergent. I would like a proper diagnosis. That's there. I would also like to sleep for q87q66q days. And i would like if childhood could never be over — it's so weird the people at school don't even matter to me,you know? I can't wrap my head around the fact that one day we'll all be 35 and I'd have forgotten their faces, lost memories of voices of teachers both inspiring and ones that made me hate myself. I don't know. I don't know. It is what it is i guess. Yeah bye.
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