I got to thinking about Chinese literary classics and figured it would be fun to summarize them badly.
Dream of the Red Chamber: A boy ends up in a love triangle with two of his cousins while their dysfunctional family falls from grace.
Journey to the West: The Monkey King is totally not the protagonist. He and the rest of the party keep getting sidetracked on their pilgrimage because demons find the monk really attractive and delicious.
Romance of the Three Kingdoms: China's best generals and strategists (who might secretly be gay for each other) play 4D chess, raze the country, and don’t care how many people die as long as someone comes out on top.
Water Margin: The heroes are arguably just as bad (if not worse) than the corrupt government they’re fighting against, but they eventually sell out and get screwed over like everyone else. Also, tons of misogyny.
The Golden Lotus/Plum in the Golden Vase: An X-rated Water Margin spin-off where everyone is a pervert, and the protagonist’s husband just can’t keep it in his pants.
The Scholars: Society sucks and scholars are a corrupt lot.