Life is full of surprises and so wierd.
At the time , I got in to peraya Fandom around 2018-19 (my first fandom). And started reading about peraya , it was at its peak .there were tons of stories here, and tons of active writers, updates almost daily and amazing interaction.
Slowly, it fizzled, many authors stopped due to personal reasons. For many, it didn't hold the same appeal. Same for readers.
Personally, I respected everyone's decision. But, I could not understand how can they suddenly grow out of it, be distant, or just stop. It was hard for me . Because, once an idea came in to my mind, I couldn't stop thinking about it and couldn't rest till I jotted it down.
I thought, I could never get detached from peraya or writing. Even till one reader remains, I will write and when not, I will just write and read them myself (as I used to before I gathered courage to publish. ).
Guess what ? Life happened. Recent health scare consumed me in such a way that I could think about nothing else than pain and solution.
Now, after finally I'm feeling better enough to think about something else. I came on wattpad to write and felt detached. Like, I can stop writing right now. Or I can go on without a single vote or comment. It does not matter.
I'm feeling so detached. It's scary. I'm feeling like free and caged simultaneously. Free from KS consuming me to state of mental paralysis, at the same time, I feel hollow part in me, like I have lost a part of myself.
It's wierd. It's freeing but at the same time, I am mourning that Part of me which wanted to revive that peak period of peraya Fandom back.
I'm contemplating a lot as I want to start new year on a new note.
Are you facing such sudden or gradual change in yourself ?
