ctrl by sza is an album that means everything to me. it’s been with me for the whole summer, the whole shitshow of a summer, and for the first two months of this school year. i just started out listening to the weekend, love galore and garden (say it like dat), then from there it just evolved. when i got in a fight with my ex i would accidentally let the weekend skip to drew barrymore on shuffle. when we broke up i found 20 something. when the school year started, and i saw my crush from 6th grade all over again, i found broken clocks, doves in the wind and go gina. as the crush progressed and i realized he didn’t actually care about me, i was listening to wavy and it flowed into anything. when i heard pretty little birds i was having an awful week. i was depressed out of my mind, i couldn’t calm down, and i couldn’t get turned on. i was on the bus and it came on, and i instantly got chills. that night, for the first time that week, i slept and was rested. now, i have a crush on a boy younger than me. i never really listened to supermodel for some odd reason, and it came on a radio for my sad love songs playlist. that’s when i knew this album was written for me. there were pangs of my summer boyfriend, and i could feel his trust issues. now, as i sit listening to it, i think more about him. but i can’t. the boy younger than me likes me, is funny, sweet, and i could even be his supermodel. this isn’t supposed to be about me. i have yet to hear normal girl, but i know it’ll have its place for me. some beautifully tragic thing will happen that sza can glorify with her voice. it’s a personal album to her and me, and i love it. thank you solona, for writing.