xanax

Hope you had the best birthday xx

OH MY GOD ITS MY BIRTHDAY OH MY GOD ITS MY BIRTHDAY OH MY GOD ITS MY BIRTHDAY

http://alltimenoshutup.tumblr.com/post/123696845143/the-proper-way-to-apologize

Today I learned that squirrels are drunks, and enjoy pizza.
          
          I was at the pool with my friends and this squirrel picked up a beer bottle and a slice of pizza and carried them up a tree.

Hey guys!  Quick shoutout to @TommysCorporate!  He's pretty chill, and his writing is actually pretty amazing.  Go check him out!

Thank you for following me! :') I really appreciated it. Hope you have a great day :D

These guys were playing would you rather, and when asked if they would kill me, or my friend they said they'd LOVE to kill me.
          
          slowly losing fate in humanity.

black skinny jeans and a sweatshirt is basically the male equivalent of leggings and a sweater.

So many people say "When pigs fly!" as an exaggeration of "Never gonna happen."
          I say, "When I sleep.  Maybe then."

I FOUND A SHOPPING CART THIS MORNING @LizzyRiggs wouldn't get in it!!!