Hina

I told a girl what God wanted to tell her. She began crying. Now, I'm thinking about her. God really loves her. 

Yesterday I was reading a book so there was a scene in which the fl broke her ankle and yeah, ofc the ml carried her in his arms.
          
          I was like, “How thoughtful he is!” Then something clicked my mind and I said to God, “Please God, give me a romantic husband!”
          
          Then He reminded me that I can put my hand on my ankle and command it to heel. Even my husband would ask for it. So I said, “No, God! I'm not going to do it! He has to take the initiative!”
          
          So, the same night when I was sober, I said, “God, I'm sorry. I think I was really shameless when I asked You for a romantic husband.”
          
          However He said, “I'm gonna give you a man after My own heart. If you don't heal yourself, he will do it.”
          
          Back to the topic! I almost whined and said, “But romance is necessary, right? Even You talk to me in poetries sometimes! I don't want a grumpy man!”
          
          I think there I said it right. Because the next He asked me to pray for it. Finally!
          
          Faith like Abraham, romantic like Isaac, powerful like Moses, gentle like Hosea, caring like Boaz, poetic like Solomon, and finally, a man after God's own heart, like David.
          
          He was like, “Happy?” I nodded happily!
          
          Ha yar, bohot dramebaaz hu mai :')

A message I don't want to forget (once again).
          
          Seeing that my sister, who doesn't live with us, yearns for people to talk to her, I couldn't help but remember the time I was also hungry for attention and care. This feeling irritates me a lot because idk if you've felt the hunger to be loved or not, but I did, and it's terrible if you don't know Jesus.
          
          Because it happens that nobody can be by your side every time. The world is busy. Stop expecting from people, nobody understands until love happens, and not everybody can love because not everybody loves Jesus.
          
          Betrayals after betrayals make humans rigid and one can't even trust anymore. You come to a stage where you're exhausted and fall at His feet and say, “I need you, Lord.” I want people to understand this, so they stop expecting from people.
          
          They won't come. Jesus does.

I really wanted to thank you for being an author here on Wattpad. Means the world to have a writer like yourself spreading the word in a way that can read more than one group <3

I've accepted this will never stop.
          
          Another problem arose and I was on the verge of tears but couldn't do it before my parents. So, I stepped out onto the balcony, speaking to God in my heart like, “Yes, I know this will happen again. I'll blamed for someone else's mistake but why should this happen to me? Did I sign a contract to receive slaps for others' mistakes?” Lol, my complaints!
          
          But I never say them because grumbling is wrong. Just can't stop this heart from crying before Jesus.
          
          He replied, “It's not wrong though.”
          
          I was like, “Ofc, I know. The Word says it but why should I be slapped for others? Tell me if anyone has received a slap for ME?”
          
          He said, “I did.”
          
          There I was speechless before I literally whined before Him, saying, “You're different, Jesus! Ofc, you even died for me but these people...” But then it hit me!
          
          Everything's going perfectly fine. I'll receive a reward but His loving embrace seems enough. :')

On Tuesday, I attended a birthday celebration and we prayed an hour before the celebration begun. I was greeted by Aradhya, our member's neice, who joined later. She's one-year-old. 
          
          So yeah, she joined later and kissed me twice. Ah, I'm getting emotional. I loved her honestly.
          
          We'd often hear about her from her aunt, about her focus on God. She's so young and disciplined to sit in prayer. I used to sit and listen to her, not reacting at all because I don't like kids.
          
          But when I saw her—uff, I can't speak anymore.
          
          I came home and mentioned this in my prayer, shamelessly asking God, “Please, I want her to kiss me again!” If we meet this Christmas celebration. I know I'm greedy but that's okay, right? I just want her kisses! :')
          
          She kissed me during prayer or else, I'd have grabbed her and muah! Muah! Muah!

A testimony which I must share!
          
          So, when I received my first-year exam schedule, I kinda boasted that I'd excel again. Because I'd been a prideful student in my past.
          
          Even after coming in faith, I struggled with pride. Praise God that I never struggled with subjects, constantly performing well in every area I chose.
          
          So, this time too, I trusted in myself and boasted about my writing, too. However, as the results were released, I saw that I did poorly. 
          
          I'd never scored below 75%, but this time, I was ashamed! I cried before God in the bathroom and asked Him, What had gone wrong?
          
          He said, Your pride ruined it, Hina.
          
          There I learned this mystery! How could I boast about my knowledge, my understanding, my talent which are all LIMITED and not the God Himself Who gives this all?
          
          I don't understand how I became so blind that I didn't understand this simple thing; I'm dust! What I have in my brain is the gift of God! Everything included my intellect and learning capacity comes from God!
          
          The lesson was; boasting was wrong. Still wrong because, the Bible says, “If anyone boasts, let him boast in the Lord.” Yes! That's what I should've done but I boasted about MY knowledge and understanding.
          
          Then I said, Oh, okay!
          
          Although it hurt, I was glad that I understood because after repenting, I knew I was going to receive amazing marks. I also knew I was going to give a testimony of it, and so happened! Following my repentence, I performed excellently well in 2nd Sem. Back to A/A+!
          
          I thank God! I praise Him! It was never Him who gave me low scores but by letting the devil teach me a good lesson, He made me learn what it actually meant when the apostles said, But if anyone boasts, let him boast in the Lord!—I'm glad now I've the perfect understanding of this verse. Also, I personally asked God to reach me humility. My prayer was, “Bend me to bless others, God.”
          
          Not that only, but also He never let me repeat any year. I'm glad now that I know Jesus better.

1k views ho gaye for Beinteha! I'm really happy about it. Thank you, readers!  

Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” — John 6:68, NIV.

I do it every time and I don't mind doing it again—sharing my experience with God.
          
          So, while reading a book, my mind began filling with thoughts and I began realizing how many times I've cheated on God.
          
          I began apologizing and for 45 minutes, I continued it. When I stopped, He reminded me the story of a woman who was caught in adultery and they brought her to Jesus to see how He'd judge her. God asked me, “Hina, what did I do?”
          
          I said, “You forgave her and let her go in peace.” He said, “Your sins are forgiven.” I said, “Yes, Lord. You're merciful. But then, I fear I'd break your trust and what if things don't remain the same between us?” Because my relationship with Jesus is unique. Who would want to put it at sake?
          
          But He then reassured me, “I was the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I never change.” (Heb. 13:8.) 
          
          That was enough to relieve me. Yeah, boasting about my God that He lives!