okay, so. you already know me guys.
i'm quite impulsive, too excited, or too sad- nothing was grey for me, hehe. but this time, i'm sorry for the sudden unpublishing of my books without any warning. i'll always thank you guys for understanding me. and...
here it goes:
i've already lost my spark for writing. not in jinbyul, not in any, but i guess in everything. i've tried several times, and during the long weekend before unpublishing everything, i've realized that whatever i was writing in the recent times- i've lost touch of what i wanted to do with my books.
i do know that it's not a big deal, it's just fanfictions too. but to me, using this outlet for more than a decade even before ahjinzegag, i've realized that i've lost the things i want to write to about the most because i've been driven by desperation of just... updating. to no longer put emotions and love in it, but just, update.
that's it.
i quite lost touch with my relationship with Jesus because i was so busy pushing my stuff in writing and in life and end up writing in chaos too, and not even publishing as someone who follows Him. although it may not look like it sometimes, none of the stuff i publish these days is bringing me joy, nor peace. it's just... there. to exist.
so, i'm so sorry for the sudden decision.
yes, i will. sometime soon republish my stuff. i will re-write them and re-publish them, definitely.
i've decided to just... publish things i want to do from now on. maybe one by one. i no longer want to oversaturate you guys with out-of-the-whim books just because i'm impulsive about it.
yes it's still jinbyul, but i will now take my time to enjoy the stuff i publish- not out of the whim, not out of the pressure to just publish because i just want to show up.
i'm also considering taking therapy and church again to understand why depression has always been with my ass. lol. please pray for me guys, and when it gets better, see you all soon. <3 God bless you everyone!
