an excerpt to "unrequited feelings" by leslie b, which made me ugly cry in the middle of the night.
i remember it was
on the third day of the new year
5am or something,
you were soundly asleep
breathing rhythmically
like you were focusing on a dream
i moved over and put my arms around you
i wanted to give you some warmth,
i remember it lingered for a minute
and you pushed my arm away
still half-asleep,
that was the first time you ever reacted that way
about half an hour later,
5:49am
i remember because i got up for a cup of water
you were still soundly asleep
i rested my hands on your thighs
it was subtle,
i just wanted to touch you
have a connecting point to your skin
while we dozed
i remember it lingered for a little while
and you moved your body away
it was subtle,
but your intention lingered
and that lingering feeling started to eat at my chest
how could something so subtle have such a big hurt?
i don’t know if it was silly
that i had an intuition that night
or silly that my intuition turned out to be right
but somehow that night
i knew that this
was a beginning to an end
