ainsread

"Fact #453: Today is the oldest you've been and the youngest you'll ever be again." http://wattpad.com/story/3579510?utm_content=share_passage

ainsread

"Tip #151: While being mugged, shout "Swiper no swiping!"
          
          
          
          
          Tip #152: It doesn't matter if the glass is half full or half empty, just as long as you drink it through a crazy straw.
          
          
          
          
          Tip #153: Say "PEE-KAH" before sneezing.
          
          
          
          
          Tip #154: If someone ever makes you upset remember that eventually that person will die.
          
          
          
          
          Tip #155: To remember your wife's birthday, forget it once.
          
          
          
          
          Tip #156: When making a rap song, always yell your name at the beginning of the song. Otherwise, people listening will have no other way to figure out the artist.
          
          
          
          
          Tip #157: To save money, instead of using tampons simply wear red jeans.
          
          
          
          
          Tip #158: When doing the laundry, mix the whites and colors. This will show that you are not racist.
          
          
          
          
          Tip #159: Tape microwave popcorn to the ceiling, it's cheaper than a smoke alarm.
          
          
          
          
          Tip #160: When you accidentally bump into someone at the mall, respond with,"Excuse me, Earthling."
          
           
          
          -----------------------------------" http://wattpad.com/story/4180300