0613722z
brain dump in case one day i want 2 read back/
my social anxiety sadly comes from a place of insecurity nd unsureness. interacting drains me but not as much as i make it to be ( it just happens to be a justification slash coping mindset on why i have such little friends ). obviously it is okay to have little friends bc everybody works different nd we should all live in a way that works for us. but recently i had this thought that i'm not exactly living the happiest i could be. i still have worries nd anxiety like a normal human (or is that normal?) even though some people tend to hide their struggles well and well everybody has different issues in their lives, i cant help but feel that nobody except for me is going through inner turmoil like no other- on a daily basis. tthat is an arrogant statement, but true to how i feel.
0613722z
never be 2 modest and true to ur beliefs . be a little fun . date men who r not worth ur time . go sit in the park. speak to lots of people nd see where ur potential ends. learn to pretend . it does more good than bad . i love u . also someone's gain is not directly ur loss nd u have to realise that . somebody winning a lottery u did not join shouldn't anger u .
0613722z
if my feelings can be translated to words i would burn the papers that have my emotions etched nd inked on. i would sprinkle the ashes into the ocean in hopes they reach the deepest end and simply bc i think my thoughts r too embarrassing for anyone to ever read. but what is life without embarrassment and cringe and fear and anxiety and worry and all these ugly ugly feelings. they never stop coming but at a certain age u learn to feel it and let it pass through ur soul. emotions are always temporary and never permanent and the only thing that keeps me going in hard times is the knowledge that everything will pass eventually. i might be urged to rip my heart out and chew it into pieces but give it a minute and perhaps ill be better. i might be depressed but if i managed to succumb to s thoughts the pain will end with my attempyt