"" GOd didnt make any mistake in creating me, nor i am a great mistake... I am just who i am..if you cant accept the worst in me then you dont deserve the best of me""

Almost everything i wrote is how I think and feel. It's like i let you stepped into my heart and mind and then let you know who really i am... I've been hurt, deeply, in the past, and it has made me a bit fearful to trust and care for someone that much. Like everyone said, I know it's been my choice...but it's almost like an unconscious, survival type choice. I do want to be loved, to have someone to love, to be able to trust, to have someone to hold and to talk to... *sigh* sometimes I just don't know...I think I'm too "cautious" it's not that I'm unwilling to go out on a limb...I just want to make sure that when I do there's somewhere else to fall to, or to ease the pain of hitting the ground. (odd analogy I know...but I think it fits) What it does come down to is that I want to be someone's special, and someone...I want to be