alazyass_

It's been 4 years now. Please, I want to move on but I can't :( 

To my Favourite Person, 
          
          I miss you so much. I can't even begin to fathom the pain and longing I feel Inside everything I look at couples come and go. An awful amount of envy erupts inside of me and I can't help but always drag myself back to you. To us. I know it's crazy, and I know that things are probably different now. You're not the Bradley I fell inlove with all those years ago anymore. You've changed, we both have— But I still wished that you'd look me in the eyes with the same love and admiration you had for me when we started dating. I still wished that we'd goof around, play games, talk about the littlest of inconveniences in our day to day life. How I wished you'd cradle me and tell me everything will be okay between us, that you still love me and yearned for me as much as I have yearned for you. But unfortunately we aren't in some fairlytale where there's always a good ending... I'm living a reality without you in it. I have to spend the rest of my waking days knowing that I'm still here trapped with the memory of us, while you're out there thriving and living your best life. Not that I'm envious or mad about it, I'm very proud and happy for you. It's just that, we had each other at our worsts— I thought we'd also have each other at our bests. Seems it wasn't meant to be for us after all. But even so, I'll continue to love you from afar, be your number one fan, always cheering you on. I miss you Bradley, so very much.

Happy Belated Birthday to my Favourite Person,
          
          Woah it's been how many years now? You're already 26 and I finally hit the 20th mark in my life! Time passes like a blur when you're focused on other things. I used to be a crying, sobbing mess of a teenager— Broken hearted and defeated, believing that I messed up my one chance at having the perfect life with my person. I thought you'd be that person... I still think you're supposed to be that person, Bradley. 
          
          After all these years, I don't think I've ever apologized properly for what I did to you. Every sorry, every "I hope you someone better.", all the crying and regretting— I feel like they're not enough. I'll forever carry the guilt of what happened to us. And a part of me is glad that I broke it off and you're spreading your wings and prioritizing yourself first. I'm very proud of the person you've become! 
          
          But a part of me, this selfish version of me, still wishes that the silly totino loving boy from her past would give her a sign. Do you still feel something whenever the thought of me comes to mind? Do you regret not fighting for us harder? Are you still angry at me for breaking us off? Do you still want me back in your life? 
          
          I wonder when I'll move on. I'm afraid that I'm going to miss you for the rest of my life— 5-6 years have passed and still here I am crying some nights when I remember you and how good we were. But maybe it's better if that chapter of us stays closed for good now. I'll always love you and you'll always have a place in my heart, but there's no need for you to love me back, or even acknowledge my existence anymore. But I'll still be here, just here. Loving and cheering you on, celebrating your milestones as if they're my achievements as well. 
          
          I love you, Bradley. I don't know how I'd make it up to you. I hope you know that I did everything thinking that it would be best for you. I was selfish, and I'm sorry. 
          
          

Heyyy, Alazyass!! I have a question. Can u make a book about Friede x F!reade? The character from Pokemon Horizon? If not then I'm okay with it. It's just a simple request. 

I JUST WATCHED KPOP DEMON HUNTERS YESTERDAY AND I AM CRYING LAUGHING GIGGLING SCREAMING AND KICKING MY FEET WHY DIDN'T RUMI AND JINU END UP TOGETHER AHHWJDNWIXNWKSN
          
          I am... Angry. I need to make fanfic about them 

Please! Just one more chapter of baby daddy! Please! I beg of you!

Happy Birthday to my Favourite Person <3
          
          Woah... You're old as hell now. Tbh I don't really know what I wanna say to you rn— I don't think I have much to say anyways. So I'll try to grasp all the woes on the top of my head. 
          Okay so for starters, I want to thank you for being in my life when I needed someone. You were right on time, you helped me overcome that demon inside me— And for that, I am forever greatful. I have, and always will, love you for being my anchor in those tough times. We had so many beautiful memories that I will forever hold dear in my heart. But now... I guess it's time I let go. 
          We've changed so much. And I guess because of that, we grew apart. I'm sure you're as broken as I am after the last time we talked— and I'm guessing that's why you barely conversed with me these last few months. What I don't understand is... Why did you ask me to be your girlfriend again? It's an anomaly I'll probably have to ponder about for the time being. I feel broken, neglected, unloved with your absence and nonchalant behaviour. 
          I've met someone else, someone I'm still testing the waters with. And he makes me feel the literal opposite of how you make me feel. I used to think that our problem was the distance... But I was wrong. One of us was just not making the effort. I'll tell you what I feel tomorrow, don't want to ruin your day lol.
          We've gone through a lot, haven't we? I thought we'd be together forever too... Guess that's only a thing you'd see in stories. 
          
          Happy Birthday... I love you. I'm sorry. 

I've been wasting my vacation just sleeping and coding... Should I go back to writing?

College is draining me fr fr

Please finish your Luka Oneshots book 2!