Alena Volgina

Thanks for following. Hope my story translates into Russian! If so, please let me know what you think. Back to Heart of a Seagull...
          
          It's important to get your marketing pitch working. Yours is strong but has a few things that could make it translate better. If this helps.. great, if not ignore it: - 
          ‘at the seaside’ has associations with children, buckets and spades that you don’t want. ‘upon the coast’ works but I’m sure you can both come up with something you prefer that suggests the sea’s invasion of the city.
          
          ‘everyone can hide their true faces...’ works better in the singular: ‘everyone hides their true face behind a mask.’ Weirdly everyone sits better alongside the singular.
          
          English tense is a nightmare, but your last sentence wanders into the past tense ‘all her plans ARE foiled by...’

Good afternoon! 
          The Chapter 13 of "Heart of seagull" is up! Hope you enjoy it :))
          https://www.wattpad.com/804840098-heart-of-a-seagull-english-translation-chapter-13

Hey Alena :) Thank you so much for following me, and voting, commenting on my poetry collection 'Infinity.' <3 Much appreciated =]

Hi there! Thank you for following me!