alex

my heart is beating so fast... my hands are shaking, my stomach is hurting, i can feel my blood moving. i have to do it, im going to do it.

possible tw 
          
          
          my mum: DiNnEr
          my ED: 
          me: i’m not hungry *stomach growls*
          my mum: aGaIn?¿?¿
          me: *panics in ana* y e p 
          my mum, annoying and clueless no matter how many times my therapist tells her: kK

I uh started a new story so if you could read it that would be cool heh

ill make the most of my voice. after all, itll be gone tomorrow.
          are you happy now?

i don’t want to do it. 
          i want to talk.
          but they told me not to.
          they force me not to.
          so now i wont.
          there you go.
          are you happy now?

no one fuxking lisrtens tio mee… thhe voices asre tioi loouid… I hasvwe too liixsten… thrye y are akllways thrre. thyry need tio llesave….. trheres onnmly onnne wways to do theat. noo ne wilol carer canywasy……..

im not allowed meds...i’m not allowed to know my own diagnosis....i’m not allowed to say anything without it being told to someone else....i feel trapped...i feel like no one can trust me... ://

i have to stay clean. or do i? i guess we are all going to die in the end, so why wait? if someone notices....the scars on my arms... and they ask why... i’ll just say. „they told me to“
          and leave.