I need to rant except I have no one to listen to me, and no one reads these anyway so i'll just do it here.
I started school last week and it has been kind of rough. I am friends with these people that I would consider my best friends. The thing is that every time I try to talk to them, they ignore me. I don't think it is on purpose, but it still sucks. I am just really tired of people saying one thing and doing another. I signed up to be in this club, and I asked my friend if they were going to join and they said no. Guess what? The next day I found out they did sign up and they were running against me for a position. This person has said multiple times that they have no interest in this position, so that was irritating. A lot of people that have showed no interest in this club are also signing up, turning it into a popularity thing, which is also really frustrating. We have only been in school for less then a week and we already have people talking crap about me, fun times right? I always feel like I am everyone's second choice. I feel like I put in all this work and effort, and it still isn't good enough. I feel like I'm second choice in literally everything, in school, in activities, in relationships, and I'm tired of it. I don't ever hang out with people outside of school, like it really sucks to be scrolling through instagram or something and to see your friends hanging out without you. It has always been like this, so i'm kind of used to it, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I feel like I have all these people that I love and care about so much, people that are my best friends, except I am never anyone's best friend. It is literally the worst feeling to feel like you are second choice, and I truly hope that none of you ever feel that way.
Sorry if that was really sad but that is how I feel and I needed to get it out. If you've read this far, thanks. Maybe you feel this way too?
New updates coming soon.
-Alli xx
