Long story short, I have an explanation.
I have moved yet again. Back home in fact. I lived on my own for most of the summer, working at least 25-30 hours a week to make what I needed to survive.
It feels surreal.
I was on my own with my boyfriend for what felt like a lifetime. Now I'm again riding the struggle bus to make a living at home, finish my Associates degree, and eventually find a way to get the money for a car so I can go back to Morehead for my Bachelors in the future.
-le sigh-
And I've yet to sit down and enjoy what inspired me to go into Creative Writing. My hands feel empty.
Where my brain used to pulsate with ideas, I've been left with a silent void.
Lastly, here at Wattpad, in a place I considered an escape for the longest time, it seems to be like a long forgotten paradise. As it becomes overgrown with moss, tall grass, and roots protruding through its soil, I find myself wondering what else I could do.
Inspiration comes and goes.
As of late, I can only focus for a short time on an idea. My mind plagued with worries, stress, and the inescapable feeling that I might not ever finish the stories I've posted onto Wattpad.
And my heart breaks at the thought.
I'm trying desperately to focus, to let go of everything that strikes at my thoughts and simply listen to my imagination. The worlds in my mind that have laid dormant scream to be heard, yet I can't find the strength.
I'm hopeful that soon I will be able to relax once what needs to settle does just that. Here's hoping.
I'm sorry for such a long/depressing/boring message, but I needed to let you know what's been going on. It's been eating at me. I felt you had to understand why the lack of updates has continued.
Again, I feel guilty, but I need to get my life together.
I refuse to "force" myself to write. Especially when I can't concentrate.
I love you guys. Hopefully, I'll be back strong soon. :)
Raise your fancy glass of champagne and drink up! I'll be back!!!
With love,
*~ally