You know what I really am now? Selfish, dark, unsavable. Because all I do is make bad choices that hurt you. Yes, I would rather have died than be Human. I'd rather die right now. Than spend a handful of years without you. Or to only lose you when I'm too old and sick and miserable. And your still you. I'd rather die right now. Then spend my last, final years remembering how good I had it and how happy I was with you. Because that is who I am now. And now no one can change that. And there is no  apology in the world. That encompasses all the reasons that I am wrong for you. I am not sorry either that I met you. I'm not sorry that knowing you has made me question everything. And that in Death you're the one that made me feel most alive. You've been a terrible person. You made all the wrong choices, and of all the choices that I have made, this will prove to be the worst one, But I am not sorry that I'm in love with you. I love you always and forever. Even now when I can no longer be saved.