chemical imbalance

do u wanna be friends

It's been a while since I've felt this close to wanting to kill myself. The reason I never follow through is because I'm scared of what will happen to the people whose lives I'm in so I want to cut ties with everyone I know and make everyone hate me so when I die no one will really care. But it's just an excuse. I'm scared of death itself as well, but I realize that as the years go by and the months of fall and winter roll around, i grow more numb to the idea. That also scares me. That I'm okay with just ending everything I though accomplishing anything I really wanted, but it just gets really hard. I understand that I do have privilege and that there's people out there who have it way worse, but this is what I feel.

Maybe if I sleep Under the covers I won't get enough fresh oxygen and slowly die from carbon dioxide. 

I tried to drown myself in the shower today. I just ended up chickening out and choking on water. 

I'm really sorry I'm a shot human being. Honestly it would be better if I just fucking died. 

the holidays are coming and I just want to wish everyone a warm and safe holiday.

im back i guess.

will someone please come and kill me

How do you escape reality? 

Wow. Relapses.