this message may be offensive
I've had enough with anything this college. I became weak, struggled on a single subject which I hated the most, cried silently while lying down on my bed talking to God about how hard it is to deal with these all alone. Those tears dried while I am asleep, still thinking about the possibility of tomorrow. It came to the point where I cannot breath properly due to crying endlessly as I stared down at the exam I submitted wrongly. I became so hopeless, thought of being a failure to my mother and to the people who believed in me, in my capabilities as the 'truest' of myself they known. Battling alone was so hard. I was not able to talk properly or even voice out anything to my mother for I know that like me, she will overthink about it. I was so scared to du such actions. Nervous for the feedback that I will receive once I make a way to make everything in correct place.
I had so much doubts with myself. I didn't believe of what I can do. I didn't believe all the learnings I've learned alone. I didn't believe anything within me. Such a crying shit.