Dear Best Friend

I wish you didn't decide when you were sad
I wish you would have stayed another day
And told me what you were feeling
Because then I could help you
Then I could keep you safe
But you didn't
You left
I wish you would have stayed
Because then we'd both be okay
Because then I could build you back
Because then I could love you
I wish you didn't leave me like this
Without a goodbye
Without a backwards glance
I wish you would have said something
No, my love
This was not for the better
You're not saving anyone
If anything you're worsening the situations at hand
I wish you didn't think of yourself as a problem
Because you weren't 
You were the solution
And I wish I could have told you before
You made everything better
You made me happy
Which, no one could do
You made me complete
Now, 
I'm not anymore
And now
My body is so afraid of being in that state of grief
And utter agony
And it just turns off sometimes
And it scares people
It scares me
In the end,
I wish you the best
Even if you left me to rot
Because I still love you for all the times you made things better.
 - Skyler Velasquez