angelinthestarz

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Damn. I fucking gotta go to school but I would rather be reading or playing animal crossing 
          	Or really doing anything else but school

angelinthestarz

this message may be offensive 
I'm so tiered of my family always saying "oh it's just that at your age your hormones are everywhere" or something along those lines if they see me crying. Has no one ever thought that maybe it was because of my fucking dead beat dad? Or the million fucking comments about how much acne I have? But no the hormones are causing it. That doesn't even mention the fact that most of the time i look in the mirror and wish I could look different or be someone else. I fucking hate it. "Oh your sad? Its because you're in your room all day" like no, i'm in my room all day because i don't want to deal with anyone or their shit. I don't go downstairs or around the house because its fucking embarrassing. Imagine your dad not having a job even though he's fully capable of it because he doesn't want to. Imagine if he constantly embarrassed you in front of your entire house because he can't control his mouth or anger. I can't even talk to my friends about anything because I feel like they would think i'm being an attention whore.

angelinthestarz

How would people react to my death and how long would it take for my friends and family to forget me and our experiences? A few years. That's how long it would take according to a friend. As disheartening and harsh as that is, I can't say my honest answer would differ. Technically all that we are doing now is prolonging the inevitable. It is highly unlikely that any of us will talk again after high school, if we even make it that far. Eventually we will, like all good things, come to an end and we might not even notice it. And when that happens, all of this would have amounted to nothing. We will all go our separate ways and live out our lives in our temporary forms, until we eventually take our final breaths. And turn to dust.
          Essentially we will fade away until we are nothing but the ghost of a distant memory.
          It's odd, for some reason this doesn't give me as much anxiety as I normally get while thinking about my future. Instead it just makes me feel sorta empty. This kind of topic does make me sad though, It makes me feel as though my friends just keep me around because they want the emotional support they cant get from themselves. It makes me feel fake, if that makes sense.

angelinthestarz

@tsuki-kosei I really want to
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angelinthestarz

My birthday is in about a month and it really has just made me realize that I've done nothing with my life in the past year. All my friends have had relationships, made new friends, picked up new hobbies, had glow ups, changed their hair, got a new style, and improved in their lives. And then im just here, the same as always. Same boring curly hair. Same style. Same hobbies. And if anything is new, its a downgrade. I drifted from some friends, worse grades, and grew a little taller. Well there's my little rant. Was kinda a bummer but hey, things could be worse.