@ angstro A week later on a saturday we burried you with your wife. You were burned with the plushie i had given you. So that you knew i wouod alweys be there with you even in a teddy bear form. You were in an urn. I barely focused on the priest, i just kept looking at the smiling picture of you when you looked so healthy..
In his last 4 days he really lost all momvements, he was bedridden..he coulnd't move animore, no more eating..he only had 3 spoons of yogurt and not all 3 meals during the day, you wanted to be held and i held on your hand. But then the hardest part was leaving your bed. Bicus we lal knew the next day was the end.
I for the first time in years saw my little brother crying again. So heartbroken..you really were somthing for evribody, i thank you for being a person we all loved so much.
The whole time i dint cry, but then the moment the car drove awey a little i broke again bicus it felt like you were leaving again. After that crying i stayed so silent i was in pain watching it keep driving awey while we had to slowly follow it. I held both hands with my cousins both to ground me and them. To let them know im here with them. They dit the same for me, not that it was any easier.
The day after you died i went to school, near the night i told my friendgroup true chat then at school one compared you to there loss to. A dog..i felt angry and pained bicus my uncle WANST a dog..hes. ahuman being wtf is wrong with you?!
In that text to my friends i had asked them to stay silent of the subject of my godfather bicus i dint know how i were to react..and i was wurried id break down. That day i felt fine vut hurt by that one comparing but its not bicus of that that i cried each night for a whole week until the grave. Its bicus i was just hurting in silence.
I guess this is why i havent been so actief..
Im recovering slowly even with the hits that come back at me. Ile puch true
