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things i love to say ─

those who get to experience their grandparents' love are the luckiest. i wish i could've talked to my baba, naseeb mein hi nahi the. nana hokar bhi saath nahi hain, nani hain par amma wali baat nahi hai. agar pata hota yeh itna jaldi chali jayengi toh shayad unke liye kuchh kar diya hota, kya hi kara hota? uss raat kuchh zyada keh diya hota. i never knew abki baar hospital jaayengi toh wapas hi nahi aayengi. paanch saal hone ko aaye and that day of 26th march 2021 feels as if it was just tomorrow. maa ne kya kehke uthaaya tha, sab ro rahe the aur duniya badal gayi. where is it coming from? i just watched a reel and i feel incomplete in a way no one can understand. i miss that woman so much, is there someone who'd love me in a way she did? that look of pure adoration and her eyes shining with trust. i grew up before age for her, felt loved and cared for and now that i think of it, she was the only one with whom i could share anything and everything. aaj bohat yaad aa rahi hai unki 

papa se jhooth bolna? na baba, na. but baatein chhupa leti hun ab, kyuki maa ne kaha tha, "sab baatein papa ko batane ki nahi hoti." (pbviously, why'd my father want to know that the guys in my class abuse eachother?) haha. but i do tell everything to my mother, ab kuchh baatein un'he bhi nahi bata sakte. toh jo in'he bhi na bata sakun, vo tiya ko batana hota hai, meri cousin. in teeno ko batane ke baad bhi, kitna kuchh kehne ko reh jaata hai, what i only trust myself with.

ABSE NO PATI KI BAATEIN, 
          BHAAD MEIN JAAYE VO. 
          (time aane pe sab milega.) ✋

(agar koi galti se yahan mere dwaara likhi gayi bakwaas pardhne ki soch raha hai toh, pehle hi warn kar rahi. aapko kuchh nahi milne ka, except for meri obvious bakwaas and pati dhoondne ki chaah. vishwaas mat karna, aur judge toh mat hi karna!)

@pfp cute hai, nahi?

hasne di aadat paa sajna ~

bhaii, love you, jo bina kuchh bole meri sunte hain, sirf sunte hain. mujhe yeh gyaan baatne wale nahi pasand, katai bhi, kyuki mai kisiki sunti toh hun nahi. rarely, very rarely, mujhe saamne wala bolta achha lagta hai. jaise ki, mere papa aur unke bestfriend, pranavi didi bhi achhi baatein batati hain aur bhi log honge ✋ abhi yaad nahi aa rahe
          
          aur toh aur, in kuchh logon ne mujhe sar pe chardha rakha hai by god! matlab, all are aware ki mai gungi hun and yet they reach out to me to vent and ask questions! mujhe bolne par majboor kiya jaata hai my lord, aur fir chup nahi raha jaata merse aise cases mein. mai sunke theek hun, meri tum nahi sun'na chahte, (mai toh mahaan hun.)
          
          kya matlab i'm more than happy to have discussions, start and end, all in my mind itself? i only trust myself with myself. tabhi mujhe kisika better half ban'na hai, i want someone to lean onto too, (vo dekha jaayega, saamne wala laayak hai bhi ki nahi.) mai apne opinions kisko jaake bataun? aisa koi hai hi nahi 
          
          mazaak se hatke, jinke saamne mai khoob bolti hun, without any second thought─ sana and deepali, love you both. ali, this new guy is cool as well, sirf sunte hain and not at all judgemental wali vibes and that feminist future dentist. angikar gadha, mere saath hota toh pakka suna karta meri "bakwaas" baatein. (sirf mai in'he bakwaas keh sakti hun." 
          
          meri nooriee, abhi mili aur dil ka tukda ban gayi. veduu meri, so sorry my sarcastic self can't stay put while talking to you, mujhe khud bhi feel hota. monishca, duh, the way she sees me, lagta hai i'm the best! (narcissist nahi bhai, sach mein. itne compliments na hote merse digest, haan nahi toh?!) not to forget anshita and ishika, legit puri twelfth inhone mera kaha hi kiya hai. i'm cryingg
          
          inke alawa, mere maa papa toh mere opinion dimaag mein rakhke chalte hain *nailpolish lagane wala emoji* aur meri cousin/bestfriend bhi meri sunti hai aur hai koi aisa? nahi yaad

03. 03. 2026. hbd anjuu <3

— ❪ ✉️ ❫