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would i be able to survive this?

angikar dasgupta, why didn't you warn me enough?! "professional overthinkers" shouldn't be left alone. where the hell did you go bro?! i need you, fr. wouldn't have cut my hair short, neither would have i ruined myself academically. ☹

why to be so sensitive in every possible way?

that feeling, when someone close to you mentions something they love or even find slightly nice and you stay awake in the bed that middle of the night, thinking of how you'd do that for them, only if they had really asked?

( ✉ )

pen and paper is a real bad idea ─ 
                 what if someone at home finds out?

things i love to say ─

those who get to experience their grandparents' love are the luckiest. i wish i could've talked to my baba, naseeb mein hi nahi the. nana hokar bhi saath nahi hain, nani hain par amma wali baat nahi hai. agar pata hota yeh itna jaldi chali jayengi toh shayad unke liye kuchh kar diya hota, kya hi kara hota? uss raat kuchh zyada keh diya hota. i never knew abki baar hospital jaayengi toh wapas hi nahi aayengi. paanch saal hone ko aaye and that day of 26th march 2021 feels as if it was just tomorrow. maa ne kya kehke uthaaya tha, sab ro rahe the aur duniya badal gayi. where is it coming from? i just watched a reel and i feel incomplete in a way no one can understand. i miss that woman so much, is there someone who'd love me in a way she did? that look of pure adoration and her eyes shining with trust. i grew up before age for her, felt loved and cared for and now that i think of it, she was the only one with whom i could share anything and everything. aaj bohat yaad aa rahi hai unki 

papa se jhooth bolna? na baba, na. but baatein chhupa leti hun ab, kyuki maa ne kaha tha, "sab baatein papa ko batane ki nahi hoti." (pbviously, why'd my father want to know that the guys in my class abuse eachother?) haha. but i do tell everything to my mother, ab kuchh baatein un'he bhi nahi bata sakte. toh jo in'he bhi na bata sakun, vo tiya ko batana hota hai, meri cousin. in teeno ko batane ke baad bhi, kitna kuchh kehne ko reh jaata hai, what i only trust myself with.

ABSE NO PATI KI BAATEIN, 
          BHAAD MEIN JAAYE VO. 
          (time aane pe sab milega.) ✋