emmaclaiiree
I'm not trying to be rude or anything but I feel like the story line makes absolutely no sense. Take it how u want but I'm trying to help u become a better writer. It goes from one dude to another then back I got half way through and just stopped reading completely. Again take this how u want but the whole point of readers is to give feedback and help the writer find their strong suits. And in my opinion I don't like any of ur stories I moved thinking they would get better. They did but it just seems rushed and doesn't make sense. Get mad or take this as advice to slow down on the pace and time jumps. And saying "I love you" after just meeting the person just seems so stupid to me. At least build up to it and add drama and pull on ppls heart strings. That way u will get more suspense and cliff hanger as such. This is just my opinion and every bodies is different. I'm the person that's calls em like I see em and ur stories r just not that good but with practice it will get better.